No that's silly. Some people don't even know their mothers. Some people inherit genetic problems from their father. And I'd say there are more bad fathers than bad mothers. Some people are screwed up because of events the mother had no control over. And some people screw themselves up.
LoL.. seems like it.<br />
I think parents are in a part way the blame for some of their problems... but we each need to take responsibility for our own choices in life and for the 'problems' these choices may bring. Family dynamics are interesting and do play a part of who we are in this life... but we shouldn't sit around and play the blaming game... instead step up and change what it is you don't like in your life. Blaming is a waste of time and energy.
At some point in our lives we have to take control of our own thoughts and actions. Blame pointing never works. Mother's make mistakes, they are not perfect and not always loving. They may have helped shape who you are today in many ways, but its always healthy to let go of blame and take responsibility for our own life and problems. No one wins playing the blame game.
Hmm. My mother neglected me all my life and made me hate myself sometimes when I was a kid. Years went by and I blamed her for all my shortcomings, like having low self-esteem.<br />
Eventually I mentally slapped myself and realized I am a separate person from her, and I make my own choices. It's really comfortable to blame your parents for everything, but we can do anything we want to with ourselves. If we don't, that's due to our own laziness.<br />
So I said, 'man up, you're not a little child anymore' and took some responsibility. Sure, people end up with some childhood traumas, but as adults they are responsible for who they are and what they do. That's what I think.
in a way yes, because you simply followed their example and then you realize that it is a bit too late to change, not to mention impossible! but of course you could've chosen expanding your horizons and following the thoughts of other people, but yes they have a powerful influence on who you will become.
As a dad ... I say yes
My son 29 and a cop. I was 17 when I got pregnant with him. I wanted to go to medical school!!! I had him- naturally- not even a frikkin Tylenol! His father went in being 17. I breast-fed him, made home-made baby food for him, got him in violin lessons and rented a gd violin when he was 5 yrs old, kept him in sports, camps, music lessons, scouts- ALL that. His father is in prison right now because he's a drug addict. Kid says to me, "I try to honor my mother and father, but the two of you make it hard to want a relationship with either of you" I take my grandson (his child) to storytime twice a week (they won't effing do it), make my son soup and take it to him when he's sick, and call him at least twice a week to tell him I love him! I just got accepted to nursing school- and his father stole 10 grand from him... Was never there when the kid was growing up! But he puts me in the same boat with his father. His father says he is a spoiled ***-hole and he's right!!!! I was adopted and I knew what that feels like. I didn't want to put that on a child but I should have! Because I am worth more than that ******* is giving me credit for!!!
I blame my mom for a lot of bad stuff that she did. But not by default. Truly because she did a lot of bad stuff, that affected me emotionally. If my dad did some stuff, I would hold him responsible as well.
Mothers are the most influential people in a child life. The child life depends on the mother. When little kids just understand codependency, and will put up with any wrong doing. But when kids grow up, they develop an opinion.
It's not even important the wrong doing of a mother in the past. The most important thing is that a mother is willing to work out a relationship fairly.