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I mean heres the deal. Im by no means a guy that preys on young women or anything like that. Im a one girl guy thats looking for just one girl to be with for as long as possible that is my type to where Im her type. But sadly this is what the question reffers to. I have been meeting women that have slept with A LOT of guys. Ladies if your between the ages 18 and 21 and youve slept with 30 guys......thats waaaaaaaaaay to many. I understand you ladies want to go out and have fun and you dont care or anything but let me tell you something. When you reach your near 30's you will start to realize you did some really stupid stuff in your life. Matter of fact a guy who comes along and is really great and has the ability to treat women right just because thats who he is wouldnt go near you because youve had that many. And you dont seem to realize that your hurting yourself in the long run. STD's and HIV. Enough said. I had a conversation with a woman on here who is a ******** from the Philippines who thinks she had an operation that actually repels and prevents STD's and HIV. Ummmmm no such procedure. Its scaring me that alot of you young ladies are doing this to yourselves. Im sorry but I would much rather be with a woman I would have to teach in physical intimacy than be with a young woman who would spread her legs for any "hot" guy that comes along. Whos to say she would be faithful or even clean for the good guy that comes along? Think about this ladies. Oh and guys stop being such jerk offs and treat women right. Its because of guys like you that this is a problem. You young men think that its ok to treat a woman bad and that the score card of how many women you "bang" really matters? Guys like you make it hard for guys like me to find a woman thats looking for a good guy.
EarthBear2784 EarthBear2784 26-30, M 12 Answers Dec 22, 2012 in Intimacy

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I am not saying that you're not right about this, bcz it's your opinion. Bit isn't that wrong about this story, you're judging people bcz they live their lifes different then u do? If u make other decisions, that's ok. But respect the ones with a different way of life. And if the so called snakes, grab your girl away, then step forward and fight for her, you really should.



Besides that, istill think you're a cool guy:)

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Earth Bear, mate, I think MOST girls don't sleep with every guy they meet. Some would slap a guy, who thought like that, and would really be amazed by a truly decent guy.

I think the celebrity media, which objectifies and glorifies being sexual puts a lot of pressure on these girls, even more so when they realise that there is no Prince Charming, but don't realise that Mr Right still may exist.

There's also a desire to be loved and made to feel attractive- which a heartbreaker may seem to give.

By the way, how would you feel about a girl who slept around but then realised her mistake, repented and reformed?

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That wouldnt change the fact that they still slept with a lot of guys. Its something they should have thought about before doing it. Im sorry but I wouldnt take a chance with a woman thats had a large number of guys go where I would go intimately and passionately. It takes away the fire for me. Its like this pretend you have your own fishing spot. One that you adore one that youve been wanting to stake claim on it for the rest of your life because it would be meaningful to have that spot all to yourself. But then someone came along and took the spot. Leaving trash all over the place not cleaning up after themselves, beer bottles, even ******* all over it. You figure ok maybe thats not so bad. But then another one takes the spot and another and another and another. Untill it gets to be a trash heap. Even though it would be cleaned up you still know how many people have used it and what they have done with it, do you really want to sit in that spot now?

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Okay, it is fine to want to stay away from certain people- that's your free will. But you are straight up being disrespectful, & you don't even seem to be bothering to beat around the bush! It is highly disappointing to read in all honesty. I completely understand that people who are like this may make you feel anxious, i experience that myself as well, but to judge them is a whole different thing. If you come across someone who is making you feel bad, all you have to do is leave, it's as simple as that! And anyway, like you've never messed up? I can probably guess what your response to that will be, but it's the principle involved that i am focusing on. What if it turned out that the perfect woman for you was like this?
But anyway, my main point is that you were judging them & it is not appropriate.

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So you think I should go ahead and be with someone thats slept with 20 30 40 50 guys when they are as young as you? You think I should just go ahead and be with someone like that? Thats right to do? I wasnt being disrespectful in what I said unless there is something about yourself that you can relate to what I said. I think I struck a nerve with you. Im sorry but lets look at the double standard here, A girl sleeps with that number of guys and shes thinks that its ok but when a guy sleeps with maybe over 20 hes considered a player and wouldnt be worth a girls time. Dont you dare say that Im wrong in this because lets look at the bar scene. The single guys where all they want to do is get laid. Multiple women at their young age of lets say 18 to 25. Theyve had sex with 40 women and thats a minimum number. You think they would be worth holding onto? Or would they be the kind of guy that knows he can get any woman at anytime? Would you trust that? I know a woman that has slept with 30 men and shes been doing it for five years. One night stands and has had only 2 relationships with out of those 30 guys. Most guys wouldnt care but I do. I dont think Im wrong for it but you know what that is still too many in that short amount of time at that young of age.

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Yeah thats why I dont do the bar scene. That was just an example. This was asked when I was going through a rwally rough ordeal. Women who enjoy sex randomly with men to me are putting themselves in danger in more ways than one. And a girl thats been with one guy 99 times is a girl that values a relationship vs a girl thats been with 50 random men not caring about anything or herself. As well as other factors that go into it. And ive been with a girl thats had a couple of kids AND has slept around a lot and was loose. My point is not invalid. Knowing first hand is what I am going off of here.

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I think it would depend on the situation for me, sleeping with 20-50 people is a lot, but some survivors of sexual abuse might come under this.
I think Shari Karney, an inspirational survivor of abuse, points out that some people may cry out for help by being sexual.
Is your point that it's impossible for someone who's slept with that many men to change?
If so, how many sexual partners will you accept from your missus?

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By the way, mate, your personal comment towards Rainbow was very cheap and unacceptable. How do you know she doesn't have a close friend who was, let's say, groomed into sleeping with many men?

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Im not saying its impossible MoonGuardian for them to change. It just doesnt change the fact that they have done that. Im sorry but thats way too many for me. It makes me hurt inside thinking about it and I dont mean for it too it just makes me hurt so bad. I couldnt be with someone that has been with that many men. It would honestly make me feel physically inadequate and most likely unable to make any kind of impact. And in fairness her response to me was a cheap shot as well since she did not see it from my perspective. For me the number would be anywhere from NONE to maybe five or six. It really depends on age. If a woman is in her 40's then 20 or 30 guys would probably be accurate. It is nerve wrecking for me. I guess its just because I was brought up to be INTIMATE and PASSIONATE with one woman and be in an actual relationship than sleep around. Its painful for me to know that many men have been where I would be. And I know because I have asked a few men that are much older than me and they have said that I am not in the wrong for this. I believe that sex and a human body is to not be thrown around like its fun and not cared about. I care about my body and what I stick my manhood in. And a woman should give a damn about what goes inside of her and how many go in her. A woman of 25 being with 50 guys....what the hell kind of impact could I possibly make? Would I just be another one night stand to her or would she all of a sudden consider me to be a guy worth being with? How do I know that she wouldnt be shared with other guys behind my back? Consider those questions.

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Excuse me? Did you just call me a ****? So, you ask me to add you, yet you clearly have not read any of the groups i have joined, & certainly not any of the stories i have written, because if you did, you would know i have never once slept around if you read a certain one! I wrote a reasonable response, viewing both you, & the people in question with complete compassion, & this is how to talk to me? And don't put words in my mouth, i never said anything to set a double standard. I will not judge anyone who does these things, but i will leave that scene alone- like i always have, thank you very much. And yes, if the man was right for me, i would date him, but i don't see what that has got to do with you? And you seem to have put more words in my mouth- i never said you have to date anyone you don't want to.

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Ok first of all I did not call you anything. You really didnt see what your first response was did you? Did you read even what you wrote as your very first response? You said I was being "dissrespectful" where as in actuallity I wasnt. You didnt write a reasonable response you wrote it completely one sided in their favor. Check yourself before you come jumping at me like that. You did not display compassion at all. You even pressumed what my response would be when you said and I quote "Like youve never messed up?". You threw a major cheap shot where as I even admitted that I have messed up but guess what....I never messed up like that. Your really not seeing what Im seeing and yout not feeling what Im feeling what Im feeling. You dont get it do you. The double standard was an example of how its viewed and you did it. You showed no compassion in to how I feel about this you showed no comparison to what I think and feel about this topic at all with the exception of you saying you experience it as well. As a matter of fact re read what you typed "Okay, it is fine to want to stay away from certain people- that's your free will. But you are straight up being disrespectful, & you don't even seem to be bothering to beat around the bush! It is highly disappointing to read in all honesty. I completely understand that people who are like this may make you feel anxious, i experience that myself as well, but to judge them is a whole different thing. If you come across someone who is making you feel bad, all you have to do is leave, it's as simple as that! And anyway, like you've never messed up? I can probably guess what your response to that will be, but it's the principle involved that i am focusing on. What if it turned out that the perfect woman for you was like this? But anyway, my main point is that you were judging them & it is not appropriate." I NEVER said anything bad against you except that you took a cheap shot at me. And wondered if any of this struck a nerve with you because of what you responded with. I read it as an attack against me. If its something different then I suggest you retype it in a way that its balanced. It actually hurt me what you said in your first response. I dont feel comfortable being with a woman thats been with A LOT of guys. It hurts me inside ok? I cant explain it it just makes me feel like its horribly wrong. It makes me wonder what happened to falling in love with romance and passion. What happened with wanting to be with one person? Not "Oh shes hot I bet she will spread for anyone....oh look she does so Im going to get mine in and never talk to her again and try this with another girl" or maybe "Oh I bet hes got something big packed between his legs or hes really hot I gotta have him and never bother with him'. No emotions, no passion, no romance just nothing real there. Sleeping around like its a game and its fun. It hurts me to think that its fun to do that. Dont get me wrong I love sex but I do it with a woman Im in a relationship with. And I was used as a one night stand by a few women. Ive felt pain and hollow when that happens to me. So dont you DARE try to tell me Im wrong for thinking like this.

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No, mate, you're not wrong. We're just saying that you should look at the situation properly before jumping to conclusion. For example, a drugged andgroomed traffick victim will come under that heading.
Myself, I don't know any girl that's slept with 50 men- so is there any worth in imagining these scenarios? ;)

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MoonGuardian I was refferring to women who arent in that category. A drugged and groomed traffic victim was not in that category at all. I know a girl thats slept with 30 men. I know a woman on here that is a ******** and she said she doesnt care about sleeping around she feels shes having fun and is on top of the world. Even said she lost count of how many men shes been with. You see my point now. Thats what Im refferring too. Women who are doing it willingly. I can understand traffic victims I can understand that. That is cruel and unfair to them and I honestly would end the life of human traffickers.

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Do you not pity her though? I would wonder what got her to where she is? Was she abused as a child? Was she told that she was only good for one thing?
I'm not saying that I'd want to marry her or even be with her, but I would pity. :(

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I do pity her. I wish her help to get her better. I would give that helping hand myself if I had too if me guiding her to the right place wasnt enough.

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Not as long as there is $ or drugs

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Thats a shallow point.

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true but true it's that way.

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Yes, there definitely are, i'm one :). I like to have a solid & genuine relationship before anything else!

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That I would agree. Would you care to add me? I like having good people in my company.

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No, some of them bend over instead. But I get what you're saying and agree.

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I appreciate that honestly. It scares me and to be honest hurts.

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I'm not in the age range, but my number is quite a bit less than 30. So it isn't everyone.

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Oh that was an example. The fact that your a little older than what I stated before and you still have had quite a bit less than that number says something. Something real good about you. And women like you.

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Just want to say I truly respect the question you asked and how respectfully you wrote it down.

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And I thank you for recognizing how I wrote it down. Not a lot of people can see into what Im actually trying to say. The other thing I forgot to mention on here is that even when I catch the attention of a girl, along comes a poisonous snake ready to strike and ****** her away before I have a chance. Doesnt matter the factor or the nature of the beast thats ready to grab her. Just the thought he wants her just to use her and move on makes me want to cut the head off of the snake. Sounds Naive but I have come accustomed to smell those kinds of men a mile away.

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I'm not one of those women. Plenty of them out there that do that for many reasons. Quite honestly I'm not!

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Im glad to know that. Tried adding you but for some odd reason couldnt.

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I'll try addinf you?

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plenty of em... you see em everyday...

Lotsa women will not sleep with a man- in favor of a woman...

Lotsa women will not sleep with a man... if he doesn't have swag.

Lotsa women will not sleep with a man... if he is not a certain height.

I could go on and on.. but you get the gist...

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Theres an upside and a fail to your statement. You do have a point that not every woman spreads her legs for every guy. But the fail is that the women your talking about should be focusing on the fact if hes a really good and decent man or not. Just because hes not a certain height is no reason not to give him a shot in a relationship. Just because he doesnt have swag doesnt mean he wont try to make a girl smile. Just because hes not the hottest guy in the world shouldnt be a deal breaker. Heck if anything the average guy would be more faithful and the woman wouldnt have to worry about so many women rushing to try to grab him, and if hes the good guy he wouldnt bother if they did. Hed be faithful. Simple as that.

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Does it HAVE to be a fail? I listed things that I have experienced, as well as common truths and notions... if you refuse to accept it for what it is, that's you guy... besides, you asked the question, not me.

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I added the description and context to what I meant by the question. For others to read before coming up with a random answer. To get a better insight of where Im coming from and going with this question. You answered before I posted it so my apologies for the response I gave to your answer.

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