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emstisey emstisey 31-35, F 19 Answers Jul 11, 2011

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In general I believe that is true. A cheater is only as faithful as their options... If they think they can get away with cheating they are likely to do it again if the opportunity presents.

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No, cheaters aren't always cheaters. Once you understand why cheating happens, you'll know the answer to your question!<br />
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People strive to be happy in life. We all marry the one whom we love and think is the best person for us. How we choose this person varies with each person. Dating is usually brief when compared to one's lifespan. You can only learn so much about a person through dating. The rest is learned during marriage.<br />
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Time has a way of exposing differences between people. How we handle ourselves, after we learn of these differences, defines us. When we become unhappy with the marriage, we think about our options. We could divorce, separate, or cheat, to name a few. The two most important things in life are love and sex. If we lack either, we seek ways to get it. The first thing is to seek professional help together. If that fails then maybe divorce if both sides can agree to it. If not then this is where the problem manifests itself. If one is "stuck" in an unhappy marriage, what will one do? Either cheat to make yourself happy or or not cheat and be miserable. Life is short. Why be miserable? For honor? Why? No, be happy, find a way out that doesn't hurt anyone.<br />
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If an unhappy couple would divorce, they could meet mates who would satisfy them. When happy, people have no need to cheat. It's pretty much as simple as that. Cheating is not a way of life, it is a way to patch a hole in a relationship.

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Do you agree that sometimes it is just about sex?

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I don't know. I think people can grow up and learn from certain mistakes. I guess I believe more in "Once a cheater, then always the potential to cheat". That's why someone who cheats on me is pretty much gone. He might never cheat again, but my heart is worth too much for me to take that chance. It's not a good gamble.

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Yes. Once you have broke that conscience barrior in your mind, the hard part is over. It then becomes easier.

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Some people are born cheaters ,they just can't help themselves so I'd say yes, Leapard not change its spottys. :(

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No..

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Although people do change at times, most of the time, past behavior predicts future behavior. Since taking a chance on love is always taking a major risk of getting hurt, why take a chance that is already against the odds of working out?

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Yes: past performance/behavior is always a good predictor of future behavior - ask any pyschotherapist, historian, or anthropologist but not your investment guru

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from my experience yes....i gave my ex another chance but he did it again. he still says i love you to me and actually he was the one that didn't like to be affectionate. But he is with another woman and talks to me about leaving her. He lies and cheats to fit his own needs. <br />
cheating is a very selfish behavior....so the person really has to change the type of person they are....and a leopard doesn't change there spots very easy

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I am in the cheater club. I wish that I had a better marriage and no incentive to cheat. The outrage that some people feel towards cheaters and cheating should be redirected at least partly towards the spouses that do the estranging behaviours that compel the other partners to stray. Spend a bit of time in "I Am Married But Lonely" or "I Live In A Sexless Marriage" to see if maybe you would develop a more nuanced approach to the topic of cheating. <br />
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To answer the question, no I do not believe that. If one is cheating because of an unmet need for companionship and intimacy, I believe that person would not stray if those needs were met in the primary relationship.

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"No one is perfect." And yet... "People never change", right? So...<br />
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This is an extreme statement so obviously it is not completely true. <br />
It is a statement about trends. Just like the stock market. If you follow a trend as a fact, you will be in big trouble in th elong run. No?

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EXPERIENCE.

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No, I don't. I think it depends on age and circumstance. People learn from their mistakes. Some cheat and move on never to cheat again and some don't.

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It has to do with character, and character runs deeps and is slow to change. If it is within someone's character to cheat easily and to lie often, then change will only come when this person hits rock bottom--and then only if he or she is lucky.<br />
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However, it is possible for someone of good character to slip once and not slip again. Once, more more than 20 years ago and while drinking, I cheated. No one ever knew. I immediately regretted it. I have never cheated before or since.

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Usually, yes. Always, no. It truly depends on who you're with. You see, if you LOVE your bf/gf you wouldn't cheat because cheating shows that you've lost all respect for that person. However, if it's just someone who's there then they'd cheat all they want as long as they could get away with it.

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i havent cheated yet , i am just thinking about it, give me a break ok, its been six years, gees

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