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Also have you ever cheated on someone or been cheated on? Feel free to send a personal message if you'd like. I will read it.
KoiNoYokan KoiNoYokan 22-25, M 21 Answers Jan 2, 2013 in Dating & Relationships

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Love and commitment is actually a sign of healthy relationship and marriage and fear of commitment or love raises questions of the condition of your relationship.

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I would agree. Even if it's based off of past events fear of commitment can definitely lead to a failed relationship.

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Yes because I really do feel "suffocated" at the thought of forever and getting bored with one person. Yes again because I have BPD, so it gives me an excuse to push men away and keep running. If I wasn't so defective, I'd say no. I want to be in love but that ain't happening because I'm gonna **** it up anyway, so why bother. Never cheated, never had a relationship long enough for anything bad to happen..lucky me.

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Like I said to someone else earlier, there are soo many people out there. Anytime is too soon to give up. Trust me.

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I respect your optimism, but I disagree. Plenty of people out there yes, but none that strong to deal with me. I accept it.

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Well I suppose we'll just have to agree to disagree hah. I wish you luck anyways.

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Not afraid of either...they are both good for me.

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That's great to hear! Continue to enjoy it, it's a great thing.

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Thank you! Even if it went badly sometimes, I just consider it practice for the right one :)

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There are soooo many people out there and life's not so short.

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RIGHT! (Sorry to yell, but I just really felt like it right then, lol)

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haha no need to apologize.

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2 More Responses

I was ...when I was younger...but not anymore...there is nothing to fear!

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That's a great point of view!

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Not at all.

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I really am glad to hear that. :)

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Afraid of commitment when ure not really inlove

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Who ever know when there in love hah?

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True if love just lasts as long as commitment does

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hah well put.

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yeah XD

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petrified of either

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understood.

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iam afraid of marriage...

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Are tum kyo marriage se darne lagi, Jhansi ki Rani.

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coz mene mere shadi shuda friends ki married life dekhi hai... mene dusro ki sab ki married life dekhi... ya to husband pressurise karata hai ya wife... shadi k baad hi sare tensions ate hai... baccha nai to bhi tension aur bachha ho to bhi tension...
apna ghar best... aur apne friends best!!

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Not afraid of it,just absolutely sick of it and trieing to find it.been cheated on but didnt do any cheating.Took all the things i learned in the 42 years of existance on this dam planet,carefully put all the"should have done"& the"treat others like u want to be treated"all together with a cup of "patience"a pinch of"ah its o.k"and set forth believing nothing could go wrong like everything past.huh,i ended up with "unbelievable dissatisfaction" in every way with myself and disbeliefe that has made me so unsure of whats wright or wrong ,good or bad,to the point that i cant even be sure if i have or could ever know what its like to be loved by someone you love.

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Love is an extremely elaborate, yet simple thing. It can send someone through a lot of pain before any optimistic outcome is reached, if ever.

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Not at all. Just afraid of someone taking the love I have for them and abusing it.

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Yes they terrify me. That's why I do it. It's a rush.<br />
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Me and an ex cheated on each other on the same night once, and then rushed to phone each other about it.<br />
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"You go first"<br />
<br />
"No you"<br />
<br />
"Okay, you know H___..."<br />
<br />
"Oh my God no way! You know B____"<br />
<br />
"You're kidding!"<br />
<br />
"Ya, we..."<br />
<br />
"Holy **** so did we I can't believe this!"<br />
<br />
"So do you wanna break up?"<br />
<br />
"Not unless you do"<br />
<br />
"Umm. Okay we'll talk about it when you get home, she's sleeping in the other room."

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That's really interesting. When it comes to love people have so many preferences and interpretations of it, it's fascinating. So do you just have a relationship without monogamy?

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No right now I'm in a monogamous relationship.
Mostly because we have a toddler and there's just no time for that crap lately lol

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for the record, that phone conversation above is the only time I've "cheated" ...

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Haha maaaakes sense.

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1 More Response

Not at all, I'm just afraid of nobody else being able to commit. I would never cheat on anyone and haven't been cheated on.

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It takes two great people to truly commit to each other. Not particularly common. But life would be too easy if it was right?

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I am not....... but i do believe my husband is (it developed more over the yrs)

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Might be more to that?

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He is afraid of losing that which he cares for, therefore, he withdrawals from them. He lost his dad, we lost our daughter, he almost lost me --it all comes from those events.

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I know exactly what you mean. That's a very difficult thing to cope with and move on from but believe me when I say I hope the best for him and you as well.

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Im not scared of love or commitment I just dont want that right now. Never cheated either. Im more afraid of being cheated on or commiting to the wrong person.

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Wouldn't that be a fear of it in it's self?

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Guess its arguable either way.

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haha fair enough.

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