No... you are born gay like softcore said. It's not like one day you wake up in the morning and say, "Hey i think that I'm going to be gay today."<br />
There are a lot of people who are not proud of being gay and wish that they weren't... it is sad that happens but they are trying to conform to what they see as society's ideals.<br />
A lot of the gays who become 'ex-gays'... like go to Christian "help centers" that make them ungay... really are still gay. And a lot of them go back to being gay.<br />
If a person is left handed, they can be trained to use their right hand well. But they are still left handed. If someone is gay they can be trained to become 'ex gay' but they are really still gay.<br />
EDIT: it is so annoying to me when someone asks a question, already has made up their mind about said question, and then says 'great answer' to everyone that agrees with them... if your mind is made up and you dont want to read answers of those who disagree with you, why ask?
It's like any other habit/addiction, you don't wake up one day and become an.alcoholic or drug addict, you begin to slowly dabble into.it and that's what you become. You have a choice. If you live a certain lifestyle you will become that. Its what you let yourself be
Well this brings up the age old argument of Nature vs. Nurture; is it genetics or the environment? Personally I believe it is a bit of both. First off, there isn't simply just gay or straight. There is a sexuality spectrum with the two extremes on either end and bisexual smack in the middle. I believe that every person is born into a specific spot on that spectrum (this is nature taking place), and then as the person grows up society and their surrounding environment plays a role in adjusting that spot on the spectrum (nurture taking place).
To those who say that being gay is a choice:<br />
Why would you choose a lifestyle that would make you the butt of jokes and vilified in most cultures?<br />
Many gay people go through life trying to deny their true selves because they fear rejection.<br />
Many of our fellow animals are born gay.<br />
Do you think they have made a choice?<br />
Sexuality is an instinct, which is inborn. <br />
Until we accept that our sexuality is innate and that there is nothing wrong with one's sexual preference, a lot of people in the world are being hurt who needn't be.<br />
Distortedmind24 commented about the "spectrum" and I, too, believe that their is a spectrum with most of us being born somewhere in the middle. I believe that many of us are bisexual and simply choose not to act on it. <br />
However, if one has a marked sexual preference for the same sex, one is born with it.<br />
A study I read a number of years ago about male and female brains being wired differently, said that the type of hormones our brains are bathed in during pregnancy determines the way our brains develop. If I am female, but have a brain that is generally accepted to have male wiring, I think that this will help to determine my sexual attraction and vice versa.<br />
Besides, one's sexual proclivity is nobody else's business. What goes on in the bedrooms of consenting adults should remain there and not be the speculation for prurient prying.
Are you born straight or was it a choce?<br />
same thing really...<br />
I doubt straight folks made a conscious choice to be straight. They just come that way.<br />
I doubt family life and upbringing have much to do with it either since it doesn't seem to run in families. One brother can be straight and another can be gay. <br />
Nor does it run in communities thus kind of killing off the environmental argument. Sure there are gay 'villages' but they evolve by gay folks moving into the area not from all those growing up there tunring out gay.<br />
And on a personal note, I know that I have always preferred the company of persons of my own gender. At a young age I didn't know what gay or homosexual meant but I knew I liked other guys as more than casual friends. And yes it might have been a passing curiousity but it wasn't ince I still prefer others of my gender.
Here is something for you to think about. I was born liking women sexually but then later in my formative years I started ************ and fantasizing about men sexually. As this went on my response to women decreased. I am still sexually attracted to women but can't get as arroused by them as much as to men. I don't think that being a homosexual is the real me. It doesn't feel right. This feeling is instinctual and not a product of American Culture. There may be some truth that if one engages in homosexual fantasies than one will become a homosexual. I think that some gay people can change while some may not be able to. The key is that they have to want to change their sexual preference.
It can be both, but I would say that 95 times out of 100, a person is born that way. The evidence is in nature. There are ample species that include a gay population. Humans aren't the only ones. There is a far larger picture.
Like all sensual desires, acting on them is a choice.
I think you're probably born that way. Having preference for men, women, both, neither, is just there. You don't really think about it. But I mean you can prefer men and still enjoy women, so I think it's a choice on what you do about your preferences. <br />
I just can't think of a single reason why you wouldn't go after what you want...Unless it's just to add variety.
What's wrong with free choice ?
It is a choice... People say that they are born that way because they were born with higher or unbalanced levels of hormones ... But if your hormones weren't balanced that wouldn't that change your appearance ... For example if you are a women and your have higher testosterone levels than you may have a hairier body , lower voice . I've seen plenty of very feminine looking and acting lesbos
Of course having sex is a choice but being in love is not... THINK people. So tired of educating hetersexuals.. If you want to know the answer to this question try asking someone who is gay(not bi) but gay.. It's that simple. It's not about sex. It's about LOVE.. not the same love you have for your BFF but the SAME love you have for your husband or wife or fiance..yes a lot of young people are promiscuous regardeless of thier sexual orientation BUT the fact is being gay is NOT just sex..Maybe you are confused because you have never been in love? Whatever.. Jesus never said anything about homosexuality but he did say a lot about judging others..
In th bible it says that god made Adam and eve not Adam and Steve when your born you don just go waaaaaaaa I'm gay it's a natural choice to be gay I did a paper in debate and this guy said that homosexuality is not natural but a choice
I think that I am born gay. Maybe it is god choice
ok im not against gays or none of that...but is it a sin in the bible about being gay?
i'm leaning towards born gay...i'm not sure i have chosen the way i am...
Either way, it is not as if they are psychotic murderers, like Charles Manson, who are born and make the choice to murder people for the fun of it. And yet just like Manson, you and I, we will all be judged if they are living against God's will right? So I am still wondering why people keep asking? Is there a difference between if you are born gay or choose to be gay?
I have really been wondering about this a lot, myself. I am a woman, and I just don't understand being gay, even though I have seen two such women, and I must admit they really seemed truly gay-not as in a preference, but like it was their natural way. <br />
I think in some cases, though, people who are neurotic, feel like they are "gay" because they can't stand the opposite sex..like Anne Heche who kept saying she was gay, and it turned out her father molested her as a child..I think something like that, that happens in early childhood can cause a person to be so repulsed by the opposite sex, that they simply cannot get close to them, so they turn to their own gender..but that's not true "gay".<br />
I really, really hate men, and I really wish that I could be gay sometimes, but I just can't.
Same sex attraction is just that, if it is the choice you make you go down that road if you dig chicks and you are a guy well you go that way. Pretty simple really. Our decisions bring us consequences.
Most are born Gay and others realise they are gay later on in life.
What if you try and change it and you really can't and you have got married with children, then it's not fair on the innocent people who get let behind. All I can say is please figure it out before innocent people get involved and hurt! I'm lucky cause I don't think it's been a problem I've encountered, but plenty have.<br />
hlpflwthat if she doesn't wish to elaborate then that's up to her. you haven't asked the question very nicely at all, it seems kind of abrupt like your looking for conflict. I hope not, cause it's easy to asume things and that is why I'm writing this to avoid conflict, ask it differently or maybe just respect her privacy, I don't see it matters anyway one way or another. Who knows what motivates but until there is no respect it's best to just let be. I hate conflict but I will defend injustice though!
I like your response RRK1! Especially about what goes behind closed doors.