I was a TA in the school system here for several years and had to learn other ways to discipline students. We weren't allowed. We could be fired. It gives you a lot of self-control to know your livelihood could be taken for a smack on the behind when you think a kid deserves it. <br />
I learned there are other effective ways to teach them discipline and even make them eager to please. I worked with middle school kids with special ed. labels when it was clearly nothing more than given love and the respect you'd give any other human. Our school is rough; inner city Memphis. Some of you guys, if you had to work with those kids I wonder how hard it would be for you to control your temper if you were taught more effective ways to punish a child. This seems to be a right people cling desperately to, and I just don't understand it. My mother never hurt me. I never spanked my youngest, and the oldest I only hit a few times when I lost control. <br />
I'm not passing judgment against anyone who feels the need to spank or allow other people to spank their kids. I just think it's the easy way out.
A spanking is not about "losing your temper"...good parent never spank when they are angry. A spanking, when it comes, is usually the parent's "physical acknowledgement" of a child's repeated failures to comply. Trust that I know what I'm talking about. I work with post-adjudicated youths and have for many years. I understand what you are saying... but I also know for a fact that most of my 'clients' would not be where they are...locked up...if they'd been afraid to stay out past curfew...or afraid to break mom and dad's rules...instead, they do what they want. When mom and dad protest, they threaten to call Child Protective Services.
Thank you for doing a VERY hard and poorly-paid job!
If my kid threatens to call CPS on me, I'd hand them the phone. If my child is going to accuse me of criminal activity? something's very wrong. Plus, I'd lose total credibility as a parent if I backed down in response to a threat. If they go there...then I go there.
You of all people should know then, that there are other ways to punish and instill discipline than spanking. I have enough friends and family in this world to see how often spanking is done when the parent loses his or her temper. I of course don't have your credentials, but I was a TA in CDC for behavioral disorders and we learned that physical punishment is quick and easy and sometimes works because it instills fear. But it also teaches them to react physically in ways we were trying to avoid. I worked with children with autism and severe retardation from FAS and lead poisoning and TBIs. We had to spend between seven to ten hours a day teaching children how to behave without physical punishment. It's just not done in the public school, not legally. We can hold them down and apply pressure when they flail but we learn by individual child what works best. Only way to keep control in a class of unpredictable kids.
Surely we're just talking about getting punishment like from a principal as a form of discipline. I don't think it's that effective. Kids were getting spanked and going right back out and re-offending.
...I got punched, knocked to the floor, thrown off a staircase, beaten, and slapped around regularly. My parents laid into me not so much because what I did was out of line, it was because they had a lot of fear and frustration at life and each other. <br />
I was really eager to please as a small child. They kept beating me, and I realized, nothing I could do would stop them. So I hid in my room and hoped they didn't come in there to hit me.<br />
If the punishment is applied fairly, predictably, calmly, and kindly? then it might be a good thing. I think that corporal punishment is often the badly used tool of shoddy parenting.
What you went through was abuse. Not discipline. It's sad but it's not the same as spanking...not at all.
How many parents that use corporal punishment do it kindly, calmly and fairly?
BTW, just because I don't think children should be hit? does not mean I don't think they should be disciplined. They need boundaries to grow up right.
This is tricky. I have seen children act horrendous in schools and it is not only unfair to the teachers, but it is unfair to the other students. On the other hand, when children act out like this it is because they are missing something at home.I don't think that it is fair to punish a student that quite possibly has a ****** home life. I think that when children cannot control themselves in the classroom, the parents should have to attend parenting classes. I don't think that they should just be sent to cookie cutter classes, but have assessments that would structure lessons ba<x>sed on their needs. I also think that this would help to detect abuse and neglect in the home.
"I think that when children cannot control themselves in the classroom, the parents should have to attend parenting classes..." *applauds wildly*
I am Pro. As long as it it done within limits. It helps us to grow up grow up with respect for other people. It sure helped me.
I'm for it...but it seems most Americans frown upon it. The controversy might lie in the fact that it is a slippery slope...one man's spanking is the neighbor's beating...and that man's beating may be another's idea of lasting traumatic event. So, to spare the courts...we treat it all as if its illegal. Meanwhile...kids are making Bus Monitors cry and saying stuff like "f@@k off mom" or ..."WTF Dad?...gimme my f##king call phone back!"
It worked on me. So pro. Within proper limits.
I received corporal punishment (spanking, standing in corner, mouth soaping, etc) up until the time I moved away from home. While I was not given corporal punishment at school, when I screwed up (such as getting caught skipping a class) it was quickly reported to my parents and I was informed that they now knew what I had done. The dread of waiting to get home and get a spanking was horrible. I can easily count the times that I resisted temptation and peer pressure because I knew the outcome would be a very sore backside. <br />
Grounding never really worked for me because I had two jobs and once I got a driver's license I had to drive my younger siblings around for stuff. That gave me plenty of time to catch up on stuff and by the end of the two weeks of grounding I really had forgotten what I was being punished for.
Pro, but it is not what you 'deserve,' it is how good a deterrent it is. I am 21 and we never had the cane at school but it would have deterred many pupils from bad behaviour. My best mate and I have an agreement that if either of us use drugs again we get caned by the other one. Worked so far.
I've seen uTube clips of men getting spanked till they bleed with a rattan switch. A cat, or the lash would be pretty horrifying, too.<br />
Here are some tales of about the strap in Canadian prisons 40-50 years ago:<br />
Dont know what is it?
Against. Too many proven false convictions.
if you've been bad, you deserve to be spanked