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Even in this 21st century my dad has just informed me that he doesn't want shame in his family...Therefore unmarried at my age, he has arranged for me to get married to a total stranger who satisfies his expectations as an inlaw...Its that or he no longer considers me worthy to be his daughter...he allows no room for compromise!
Princeza Princeza 26-30, F 22 Answers May 13, 2012

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Die. Thank fck I dont live somewhere there that cr@p is common

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You won't even have a regular marriage!

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True lol

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Thats me lol :-P

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based on the facts as you've related them, my first feeling was "how unimaginable a dilemma"...until I remembered that my own grandparents' marriage was arranged, in 1922. She was a teacher, but at the age of 32 was considered too old to still be unmarried and her family insisted that she marry a family friend and give up her career. She acquiesed, but always seemed somewhat sad, even when I knew her. I don't think I could do it. But I can't know the answer for you because I don't know what the complete ramifications would be if you refuse. I wish the best for you, whatever your decision.

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It's a difficult choice...marry a stranger, or be cut off from your family. I don't know what your situation is, or what the social mores are in your country. What are the repercussions if you refuse to marry this guy? Can you support yourself and go it alone without condemnation?. Perhaps in time your father will soften?

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Well, I feel like I'm placed between a rock & an open hole...I would be disinherited from my dad's family & none would be allowed to interact with me. From my spiritual point of view, this is the worst case. I can easily take care of myself & everyone close to me no problems. Is just a taboo to be in your dads bad books.

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As I said, it's a tough choice. You are going to have some hard self-examination to determine which will be the worst choice for you. It would be easy for me to say "Don't do it. The heck with your father", but I live in a different culture. My choices would affect me differently than they would you. Best of luck with this; I hope you make the best choice for your continued happiness.

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hard being a woman. die is not an option. you can either get married and hope for the best, cause let's face it most marriages go south anyway... or run away. put both options on the paper. if you can (have friends you can stay with or that can help you) than carefully plan running away and start fresh. hope it works out for you. hope you get your freedom. be brave and fight for yourself. wish you all the luck you need.

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Its better to get laid...than die virgin..!

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Run away.

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If you are educated, having permanent job and can live independently, try to get transferred to some other city and live there. If not gracefully accept yours parents choice after asking these questions

1. Do my parents love me?

2. Do they wish only best for me?

3. Who is better experienced in matters of marriage?

4. what is the guarantee that I will find a better choice?

5. what happens if a person acts perfectly normal for a year or two while courting you and turns out to be crook?

6. If anything goes wrong you can always blame your parents in case of arranged marriage.

Unless the groom is too old or already married or your family is expecting genorosity of the groom arranged marriage going wrong has lesser chance than love and romantic liasions

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...WHO are you? are you going to tolerate being a slave in a free world? get on a boat to the free areas on the globe and if it were me? I would not look back...family or no family

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I don't know what your religion is but in Islam it is advisable to get married early, to avoid committing sexual sins. Although many people think that in Islam marriage is forced and arranged it actually isn't according to the Quran. Many people mistake "culture and religion". I am an ex-Christian and also used to have false ideas about Islam and forced marriages. Now I believe quite differently. First as a Muslim (either man or woman) it is difficult to meet a suitable partner because often men and women are seperated and Muslims don't go to bars or discos to meet someone. So really they have to rely on their friends or parents to introduce them to someone. I married someone who was introduced to me from a website. I think if your parents love you and they choose someone for you, they will choose someone who is compatible to you. Money should not play a great role, I think they should concentrate on your happiness and if he has a good character. If you don't like him ask them to find you an alternative that at least you have a choice. Today a young frien of mine is also having a meeting with a young man's parents to see if she is a suitable wife for him. I was married to someone before who I had chosen myself and I found I had made a great mistake. Sometimes other people know better who is more suitable for you. When we are young we make mistakes, (I made many) we don't see things as others do. Anyway, I hope this helps you a little. And good luck with it. The only one thing I suggest is make sure he is from the same religion as you. Nationality is not important but beliefs are. This way you can guarantee that you will be compatible.

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run

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You can refuse. Cultures where arranged marriages prevail are also cultures where cheating is acceptable.

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I know that this is hindsight on my part, but seriously....my parents wanted me to marry Graham. He was my first boyfriend and remained my best friend throughout our lives, until he died last May. I married someone else, and my life has been ****. I have had several partners, but none were good choices. While Graham remained steadfast and strong. He made two good marriages. (first wife died of encephalitis) If I had married the man my parents chose, perhaps I would have had a much more stable and happier life. We always loved each other. I was looking for something else, I suppose. He told me, 3 days before he died, that he had always loved me and that I was the one that got away. I know, that I still regret my choice to turn down his proposal and go for the bad boy.

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Sorry about Graham but at least u knew him!

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so sad

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Yes, I knew him and loved him to the end. And I still treasure the memories. 56 years of memories.

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Yes, sometimes It make me sad, but mostly I just remember him with a deep love that nothing has ever damaged.

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sounds awful :( i would rather run away

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How about neither? Just run off.

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I currently live in another country.

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Well you will be fine then. :)

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die die die...

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