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I'm a 16 year old girl. I started ************ when I was 7. Never told my parents. If you found out your child was doing it, Would you be angry? It's just I would like talk about with them, but I'm scared...
LostandConfusedGurl LostandConfusedGurl 18-21, F 27 Answers Dec 27, 2012 in Health

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No. It's natural and private. Feel no shame! There should be no reason for anger!

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Many parents might be uncomfortable discussing such a subject with their own child, and might have inhibitions from their own upbringing which would result in a discouraging or even punitive response.<br />
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If you're scared, then there's a fair chance that your own parents' response would be negative, because your fear is probably a learned response ba<x>sed on subconscious cues you've picked up from them around attitudes to sexuality. I may be wrong, though. Only you can decide if what I've said rings true.<br />
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Are you struggling with a sense of guilt or shame? In that case your parents are probably not the ones you should be talking to about this. It's difficult to choose an adult whose reaction can be trusted, actually, since our society is completely ****** when it comes to sex. (badum bum)<br />
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In my own case, I'd probably shrug and recommend some reading material - biology, social science and erotic classics - and further recommend that such activities remain private due to the likelihood of negative reactions from prudes, and the inappropriateness of inter-generational relationships of that nature within families.<br />
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It's fine to engage in a bit of experimentation with a peer, even mutual ************, but ill-advised mainly due to society's likely reaction and the difficulties which can ensue.<br />
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It's all about context. As long as it's not interfering with your ability to socialize and make progress in other areas of your life, it's not an issue, and nobody's business but your own and whoever you decide to share intimacy with - even then, only when you're comfortable with it or willing to push that boundary.

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Great reply!

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Thank you. You're spot on about the guilt thing

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what i just read...
needs to be printed material...
readily available to all middle school and HS students...
Very inviting, well written,

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I seem to be on a roll today ... probably because I'm in the middle of a book on parenting and it's got me thinking. :) @LostandConfusedGurl - your parents are probably not going to be helpful to you in this, so if you do speak with one or both of them, take their input with a grain of salt - as just another vector of information, and consider their background and limitations as flawed human beings like the rest of us when you do. You'd probably benefit from (and get off on) Nancy Friday's book "My Secret Garden" (http://amzn.to/W8MOFQ), a collection of women's sexual fantasies psychoanalyzed by the author. It's not so much the fantasies as the analysis that will be of benefit, since I can't in all conscience recommend any adult that you know personally as a source of good information. I could recommend others, but this one is probably most applicable to your situation.

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Thanks you :)

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how are you doing, sweetie? has all this babble from the "grew ups" helped? (silly star trek reference lol)

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It's natural and your parents probably already know. Just don't be doing it on web cam or your phone. Keep it private. Lol

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I would probably be a little angry at first but then I would come to understand the situation and continue my role of being a loving parent <3

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My family and I are all nudists and we live in a very open household, the doors are very rarely closed. I don't think my kids know they even have doors. I have walked in on my daughter (13) ************ and my son (8) playing with himself, and it was no big deal. I just asked them what I needed to ask them then went on my way to let them finish.<br />
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Plus, if your parents think they have a 16 year old daughter that hasn't diddled herself, you are sadly mistaken. They know, they just don't talk about it.

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That sound intersting and much less stressful actually, the thing is. We're a very conservative Christian family.... That's why it's such an issue for me

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Yeah, we've decided to stay away from religion and compared to religious families I know, our environment is a lot more carefree and stressless.

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well, if you mom is too fanatical+" religious" for you to bring it up and "talk to her....", as you say you'd like to, then forget about them and just go on enjoying it. Don't let the christian (fanatics) ruin you....

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Agreed. It's yours, no one can take it away from you, play with it and enjoy!

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If I was your father, I'd be more concerned that you're lying about your age on EP than that You're ************ or were doing so for more than half your lie.

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Totally normal if dinging with yourself . If having sex I would have health concerns.

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I wouldnt care. I'd give them guidance, advice, answer their questions and let them get back to it. I'd rather it be with themselves than with some older pervert that might prey on younger girls or a skeeve her age that might take advantage of them and break their heart. *shrug*

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Not at all, it is perfectly normal and believe me, EVERYONE does it. I would pretend not to notice, but probably would plan to have a talkd with my child about sex much sooner

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I see no reason to discuss this with your parents. As others have said, it's a perfectly natural part of us. Although there is no shame in it, it should be kept private - not secretive, just private.

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That's the thing. Keeping it from my parents is keeping it secret. I don't like doing stuff behind their backs

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In order to mature and assume responsibility for your own life, you HAVE to assume stewardship of your conscience and your own relationship to God, and not delegate it to your parents. They can't be there to tell you what to do forever, and adolescence is the appropriate age to begin that separation. The fact that you're torn about an issue of such an intensely personal nature implies to me that your upbringing has interfered with your emotional development. Going to your parents with this will only exacerbate the harm they've already done by keeping you in the dark and burdening you with guilt and shame about something that's actually a great blessing.

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Awesome reply, sumnerkagan!!

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Honey, do you share with your parents every time you go to the bathroom? Of course not, because it's PRIVATE. If you do not share your toilet details, do you feel you're keeping it secret? Of course not - because it's a natural part of living. And so is ************, which for some reason, apparently we can't spell out here!

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I wouldn't be mad or anything

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MY only question would b y you're LYING about your AGE ..other than THAT ...no problem :)

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Cause EP won't let you do anything usefull when you're age is set below 18. They wouldn't let me post my questions.

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Noone ELSE underage seems to have a problem with it

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Well I tried. I'm not doing anything bad. Just makes it easier to navigate EP. NOt that I think kids should even be on this site.... but anyway. It's really nothing sinister.

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It's a little narrow-minded and naive to be concerned about a natural act . . . thinking like that is equivalent to thinking you'll go blind, grow hair on your hand, or end up in Hell.

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absolutely not......its normal and natural.....

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No, it's totally natural

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