as useless as a screen door on a submarine

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As useful as **** on a bull.

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havent' heard that one in ages my dad and brother used to always say that one ahahaha
Useless as a kick stand on a tank

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That's cute-we're same generation- my dad love the ***'s on a nun and balls on a priest as well

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You know, with a stout pair of crutches and a good rhythm, the one-legged guy might have a shot. :)<br />
<br />
(Alternatively, I'm a fan of chocolate teapots. :)

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Now there's an underdog story if ever I heard one

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A condom machine in The Vatican

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As much use as an ashtray on a motorcycle.

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Boooo!

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HAL- I'm googling http://www.kaitaia.com/jokes/Funny_Lists/Funny_Lists67.htm I swear- I didn't plagerize your stuff- I rarely ask Q's _ I'm more a smart azz answer sort of chick. How can I make thid right by you

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Not worried about you googling but I wanted to heckle you for some reason. We're good.

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