Stand your ground and do not back down. Be your own person and follow your own rules. Blatantly disregard his "orders". Try to be considerate of his feelings and do compromise, but never just give in to him.

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Thank you. I'm working on finding things I want to do. I will invite him to join me or tell him I going to do these things without him. Also plan to join Red Hats, where men are not allowed. He won't like his idea, but I'm going to stick to my decision to join. God, he even comes in to read my email over my shoulder. I just barely dropped this down where he couldn't see it;. Thanks for your import. I appreciate the support

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First...figure out how and why you lost control. Was it slowly, over time, and little by little?<br />
If so, then I assume that is how you are going to have to get it back. <br />
Did you give it up willingly at the time, or was it forcibly taken?<br />
Does he understand that you want it back, or will he resist handing the power back over to you? <br />
Lots to consider.<br />
And it will depend on his personality and the type of control that he has.

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It started slow and all at once my control and independence was gone and I wasn't even aware it was happening. I feel so stupid. I dislike confrontation, but plan to make some decision making of things I enjoy in life and work toward achieving them, with or without his permission. Like having lunch with girlfriends without him in attendence. His insecurity is not something I can fix.

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I bet he has other people live with him prior to you. He knows that the woman wants to run the show and you should have some rights to do as you please. I would recommend counseling for both of you and if he won't go then you go to see what you can learn how to get a few rights back.

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He was married to a woman for 50 years and she made all the decisions. Now he wants me to. I was looking for a partner where we could share decision making. My guy better look out because if he really wants me to make all the decisions, I may just start doing just that. There will be some he won't go for, but I'll bet he just might like a few and that's a start.

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