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I have been in a 6 mo relationship with my boyfriend I have posted a previous question about him that goes into more detail but I question our relationship often even though I have feelings for him I get discouraged. I am never included in his family events, he is putting his life back together. Goes to school full time, works and lives with mom and dad . He is 35. I am 33 have 3 daughters divorced 8 years... recently an old flame came back into my life and want to seriously date me and told me he loved me and has always thought about me in the past years wishing we were together. He is a single Dad lives 400 miles from me and is successful at what he does. We first met by coincidence when I was visiting a friend in the area at a gym. We hit it off but then i came home and we lost contact.....it is tempting to test the waters without my boyfriend knowing to make sure if he is what I want. I do love him but in the past relationships Love was not always enough. Please don't judge.Help?
lifetimes7 lifetimes7 31-35, F 12 Answers Jan 23 in Dating & Relationships

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I have to agree with some of the other posters.<br />
If you want to dump the old BF for the new, that's fine. If you want to fix the old, and save the new for later, that's fine.<br />
But cheating on the current BF just because he's not a great BF and the new guy might be better is simply not right. <br />
I am not judging you. I am judging that behavior. It is wrong, unadvisable, unacceptable, and what's more, you already know this.

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I see Nothing in your details which warrants u to b tempted to treat your Current bf in that way, have some respect

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I fail to see the Humor in my answer beauty

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Personally, I think either you want to be with someone or you don't. You shouldn't be with someone hoping and waiting for someone better will come along. But, if you haven't established a committed monogamous relationship with the bf, then testing the waters is okay. If it is a committed relationship then you should either stay with the bf or end it and see the other guy.

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I dont judge people but the part that sticks in my mind is he still lives with his parents..... He is not very independent.... lives with mom and dad.... You are the head of your household with 3 children and no husband..... He may be a good guy for you but you need someone to take care of you not the other way around....

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no judgement examine your feelings and think hard about what you really feel because it seems like the relationship you are in that you are having doubts about his feelings and intentions and that you might just be wanting back into your old relationship so I think you have to figure out what you want and go with your heart

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I honestly dont understand how the heck any person who belives they are caring and loving cant simply say what they feel out loud to the one theyre involved with... <br />
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Please evaluate your heart and minds actions, go over the morals, values and beliefs you were taught and developed and then ask yourself again whether you should sneak away with someone else to 'See if it was meant to be" ?! =( <br />
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How about you break up with your current bf and then feel free to do whatever you please with anyone you want?<br />
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You said you love him but clearly its not love if you cant share your concerns with him instead of doing stuff behind his back. <br />
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Ugh ! =( Humans are crazy creatures..Im outa here

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thnx for the like I hope I dont sound judgy or mean. I just see the best in people whether I know them or not and i pray you do what you an to find out the root of the issues first and if you two can fix them great if not, just call it off be friends and move on. Good luck God bless. Dont think about it too much thats usually when youll know what to do the most

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There is a definite underlying issue that has nothing to do with anyone but me

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* Prays right now for this issue to be resolved so you can be who you know you can be to the one you love and you both can start communicating more easily. look up again, start workin at it little by little and then smile! =) .. have a great day

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God help anyone gets close to you. This guy who has fallen for you, has he heard you go on like this?

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Yikes!!!! Im human and have temptations!!!! I don't trust my boyfriend based on his past so it is easy for me to justify and slip.... I am just being honest and looking for help. I am a good person with a big heart i just want what is best for me and my girls.

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Okay in that case, do them both.

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Ok life, so you're going to Teach your girls that it's OK to test the waters Behind their current bfs backs just to see who the better Pick is?... Real good parenting there sweetheart

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Life waits for no one - if your current boyfriend is putting his life back together, but is not including you in it, then it sounds like it is a relationship of convenience. If you want more than that, then leave that relationship before pursing another. Even if the ex doesn't work out, the right relationship might be just around the corner, but you won't find it hanging on to the wrong one for scraps.

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I feel like it is convenient for him because he even told me he escapes to me to get a break from everything else...I feed him and take care of his needs but when he said that I was like....huh??? See that is what sucks about this is that I can't include the whole story and so people automatically assume which is expected

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im sorry, I was TRYING to assume... just stating that if you are thinking of pursing a relationship while still in one, then the first one is a matter of convenience for you as well. If the relationship is giving you what you want, keep it and be true. If it isn't, lose it and open your life up to the possibilities.

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*not* trying

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you are right ... i wasnt implying specific You assuming just human nature we all do and I fail to do my part in explaining the whole story

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