I have found forgivesness is not a quick thing. Depending on the situation one's feelings can be hurt as much or even more so than by say death. BUT with God and giving oneself an unlimited time fr<x>ame and giving one permission to feel all of the feelings one feels with death (stages of death VERY similar to stages of forgiveness, .) This is what not only enabled me to forgive my ex husband it enabled me to love him, and yes, feel some pity, although I would not share the pity part with anyone who knew me because it sounds condescending, but wow I went from one end of the spectum to the other, took time journaling acceptance openness of feelings and I have nothing but agape love.
Who among us has not had to be forgiven for either an intentional or unintentional hurt? Forgiveness is for OUR benefit. "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and to discover that prisoner was you." Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." And finally,<br />
"You will never be called upon to give anyone more grace than God has already given you." If you want to check out my life experiences where I learned about forgiveness go to my blog.