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bf said he thot i will dump him every time after we make love, whc i didnt? my bf apologized before we made love(thats when he usually most relaxed and honest & tells me everything..even things that might hurt me...i noticed the pattern). and when i asked why....he said he thought I am with him just because I wanna sleep with him... but now he realized that I'm not that type and he's sorry. and he loves me for that I asked why did u think that way & what took him this long to realized.we've been together for 4months. He said that's what he thought every time after we hv made love... that I will not contact him anymore. every time. but instead i still contact him and meet him. is he acting like this because of his experience with girls in the past..???..... or he thinks I'm a player just cos Im a pretty girl (now dont bash me and say im ugly,.. im just trying to know why he is like this) and a bit hurt knowing this. additional details: in our 2nd month. i didn't meet one of the weekends..and told him why(family matters). he understood. when we met again...he jokingly asked "so whc guy did u spend time with last week ha?" and laughed.but i know he meant it. i was surprised and said no one im not seeing other guys except u
pinetreee pinetreee 26-30, F 9 Answers Jan 9, 2013 in Dating & Relationships

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hes probably attached to you and doesnt want to lose you - he doesnt feel like he could make it on his own without her

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Black Widow Syndrome

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Inferiority complex... where he could be the weaker sex, where you could be the masculine figure relatively speaking. So his thoughts are similar to that of females who think that they are used for pleasure and get dumped soon. Quite possible that you are the dominant one between the two. <br />
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But analyzing how you met and the way you got into relationship, can give you the answer you need. But a psychological condition, which can make him a drag.

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hmm i'm more feminine in nature. he's masculine by nature. but i realized most times he lets me make the call....where to eat what movie..when to meet him. if i dont contact he thinks i dont wana meet him anymore.

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you are referring to the physicality.. but what is real is the spirituality .. as in a Teacher is more masculine than the student.. irrespective of their gender.. We have been cultivated to attach gender to physic, but in true sense its not so. As you describe, he has made you his master and obeying your orders. I don't think he would be creative in bed either, where his performance could be more like a ritual..

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Yeah, I think you're probably correct in thinking that he's had some kind of bad experience with this in the past. That is really the only thing I can think of, aside from general low self esteem (also possible).<br />
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How long have the two of you been together? This seems like the sort of thing that will resolve itself as trust builds. However, if it's been more than a couple of months I would start to believe he has some pretty serious emotional problems.

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we've been together for 4 months now. in our 2nd month. i didn't meet one of the weekends..and told him why(family matters). he understood. when we met again...he jokingly asked "so whc guy did u spend time with last week ha?" and laughed.but i know he meant it. i was surprised

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maybe he has a history of being treated that way OR u gave him reasons to doubt u w/o realizing, anythg u said or did or low self-esteem he thinks he's not good enough for u, cud be anything

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Well when a guy feels that way it can be 3 reasons: he's either expeienced it in the past and now braces himself to be disappointed, your acting in a way that seems odd to him, or (not saying this is the case) he's interested in ir he's seeing someone else and he's trying to see if you are to justify what he's doing. But if he's that way because of reason #1 lemme give u some advice: Don't start thinking "well since he thinks I'm going to leave him, I will". I understand there may be times where it may be hurtful because you start to feel like he doesnt trust that you love him, but let him know and reassure him that your there. Good luck to you both

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