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Bored after 5 years?

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now, living together for 2..sometimes things are fun and great but more often then not they are dull and boring. i have tried all along not to be bored but im so sick of trying. it almost seems pointless. not to sound dramatic but sometimes i just feel dead, like im living with a roomie. he sleeps after his easy 9-5 job, uses the computer and goes to the gym every single night. the routine is getting old and nothing i can say will fix it, it always turns to a fight. is this just a phase? i have no idea..im sick of being the one who tries, its like i give up. i would rather fight then say nothing just to get some sort of emotion out of him. he says hes happy and only wants me..yet will never talk about engagment even after 5 years. maybe thats half my problem, i dont want to waste time with someone who doesn't see a future with me. i just want to be happy but i dont know what to do anymore. its so confusing!
Posted 4 months ago
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It only takes little subtle changes to ward off boredom. Your boyfriend is caught in what humans are referred to as a species that doesn't like change. However, subtle changes is more patable to take. So try to come up with a plan and try it for over 21 days and then try another one and another.
Posted 4 months ago

Other 5 Answers to Bored after 5 years?


Posted Jul 2nd, 2009 at 7:51PM
well, it is normal to find yourself bored. Couples go through ups and downs. If it is more than the usual ups and downs, then just break it off.
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Posted Jul 2nd, 2009 at 7:51PM
Did you ever even love him or was this just a fun relationship for you? You don't just get rid of someone you love just because their life has turned into a routine (which happens to all of us- even the best of us! Even actors only have months of glory- we just happen to remember them for the rest of our lives for those single moments). Anyway- if you don't love the guy- do him a favor and leave so he can find someone whose basis of relationship is love and commitement, not fun.

On the other hand if you really love him - go meet new friends, go out together to new places, hang out in new groups, get involved in life in a way you never did before- it is just a matter of opening your eyes and getting connected to the world. But at the same time you have to accept and love the guy for who he is or else like I said give him the freedom he needs to find someone who can.
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Posted Jul 2nd, 2009 at 8:55PM
lol... wait until you get married... euphemistically speaking it's called 'settling down' realistically speaking it's getting used to being bored together... at least until you have children then you will be anything but bored... frazzled, exhausted, exasperated, nearly homicidal towards one another on occasion, but bored... never!
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Posted Jul 2nd, 2009 at 9:14PM
If you are bored after only 5 years in this relationship, then expectations for a lifetime would have to range in the bleak to non-existing category. He has created a pattern which is likely to continue. Of course he is happy, it sounds as if he does what he likes all the time with little consideration for you. Get your head out of the fairy tale books and start reading your reality. You are not married, nor engaged for that matter so before there are any commitments made, get out. If he values your relationship he will make the effort to start dating you again and you both can work on a mutual happiness. Does he even know you at all? At this point the question is even if he did ask you to marry him would you be content.
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Posted Jul 3rd, 2009 at 1:23AM
I'd move on....

You talk to him all the time, about how you feel, but nothing changes....he won't talk to you about engagement (why would he, if he's got it all, with just living together?).....

I think he has committment issues....and is more concerned with himself, than you...otherwise, he'd skip a few trips to the gym, and take you out for a good time....or spend a nice, romantic evening at home....SOMETHING.....

You need to find someone who isn't so self-absorbed.....and knows how to show that he loves you...not just say it.....(if his words, do not match his actions......go by his actions....they speak more of the truth)...

Good luck.
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