But what would YOU do if you were in my shoes?
Ok. Here's the scenario.
-Played around with male friends as a teen since girls were not as readily available.
-At one point one of these friends told me he is gay.
-Scared out of my mind, I immediately distanced myself from him and anyone else I had played with (it was the late 80's - different time).
-In late teens and beyond, pursued females only.
-Never never never considered pursuing males.
-Recently (I'm 42 now), as part of my evolving sexual portfolio, decided, "what if I tried some m/m sex?"
-Having more confidence in my sexuality, I figure it would be just for fun as long as done safely.
-Got approval from my long-time partner (female) who said, "If you want to explore your sexuality, that's no one's business but your's."
-Even though I general face tough decisions head-on (pun not intended), I can't seem to break through my paradigms about this situation.
-Thoughts bothering me: "Although I support gay rights, somehow, the sexual acts seem wrong for me." "What if I enjoy it?" "What would anyone who knows me think of me if they found out?" "What if I decided I'm more than curious?" "Would that be the new me?" "What would any future female prospects think?"
Please, somebody, offer some thoughts, brief or long, experiences or observations...anything! Thanks in advance.