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its like I have to be perfect
untetheredsoul untetheredsoul 22-25, F 15 Answers Jan 28 in Dating & Relationships

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Everyones lovable😊👍

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Nobody can be perfect, be yourself and be proud of who you are, if others are not satisfied that is their problem, not yours.<br />
You are a good worthwhile individual, as we all are. Don't let yourself be manipulated by another, be yourself and live your life for you!

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thanks!

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Well I guess loving a person has nothing to do with self esteem... its about preserving your love for long time... and that's where it becomes an obstacle!

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He can, but it's tiresome. I think people with low self-esteem need to get it high before they date anyone. It's a burden having to deal with someone that has Woe-Me syndrome.

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True

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I have low self esteem but working very hard everyday to change my thoughts and try to control my feelings. I'm good up until the point I start falling for the guy and get serious. I'm aware of my problems so I try very hard not to act on it. But I am not worthy of love then?

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Untethered: No one said that. I just don't think some of you guys realize that you're a burden on the other person...and a relationship is a two-way street.

The guy can't keep you feeling good when you're down (more than the average person)....and if you can't reciprocate when he's down because you're usually a downer, it doesn't make for a successful relationship.

I just think you have to mature to the point where the guy doesn't have to be your rock and you can stand on your two feet without him having to be there. Otherwise, no one who can do this should be dating (imo).

Your worthy of love, but you might lose it if you're not ready and/or are a burden.

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who said I cant stand on my own two feet without him though? and how do you know I'm a burden? you're assuming all kinds of things now. I never demand from my boyfriend to try to make me happy when I'm down. He's not my rock, I dont see him in that way because I'm the only one who can take care of myself and make me happy. I've never been a burden to him as far as I know, since I dont ACT on my low self esteem because I KNOW its the low self esteem talking.

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I replied to this...why didn't it show up?

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I got your reply

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Okay. 1) Are you from America? Because if you're not, I'll educate about the English usage of "You" here. "You" can mean a specific person or just the general populace. I don't know you, so it would stand to reason that I wasn't talk about you specifically. 2) People with low self-esteem might not see themselves as demanding or cumbersome, but their SOs have to put A LOT more energy into them and their relationship to make it work rather than someone who is confident in themselves. It gets tiring to have to constantly make sure that the person is fine and isn't getting depressed over something minor. What I meant by "rock" is someone who will help you when you fall into states that low self-esteem puts you in. A lot of people use their SOs to bring them back to their original level, but they don't understand the toll it exacts on their loved ones.

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No I'm not from america and english is my second language. I do know the usage of "you". you dont know me as well as a millions of other people with low self esteem in the world so I'm basically saying that not all of us is like you think. Like I told you, my boyfriend doesnt need to check on me to make sure I'm not depressed etc. And yeah I know what you meant by rock, and like I said I don't think of my boyfriend as my rock. If I fall into a deep state of low self esteem I know I'm the only one who can pick me up, which I do. A lot of people are probably like me, and no wonder we're afraid to admit we have low self esteem when people make all kinds of assumptions.

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No. I don't know all of you nor did I ever say I did. I didn't assume that most of you were that way either. I was speaking from experience that I've seen from others. ....Lol. And if you're afraid to admit that you have low-self esteem because of what other people think, then THAT'S a problem that needs to be remedied. Who cares what other people think? You don't know them, so why do you care that they make assumptions about things? Correct them and move on with your life and don't let them burden you. That's what I do.

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I just said I have low self-esteem, lol? Yeah I just tried to correct you and now I'm moving on.... because thats what I do, low self esteem and all.

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It seems that you've forgotten the English lesson already. If people are afraid to admit that they have low self-esteem due to misperceptions, then they need to emotionally mature.

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Such a good point, I guess the other thing is that everyone is insure to some degree, but they don't exactly give you a number to aim for, of the amount of "not" insecurity that you need before you should start dating.
People could spend a lifetime "getting ready"

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9 More Responses

Yes, my significant other has low self esteem, I'm making it my personal responsibility to change that in her. It not always easy, but it is all worth it when I see her smile. 😌

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great to hear that, she's very lucky

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I'm the lucky one! I find it extremely difficult to understand that she has not idea of how beautiful she is.

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it's up to the man to pick you up, and make you happy.

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I dont agree with that

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ok. you're entitled to your point of view. :)

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He will use you once he sees that you have low self Esteem

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are you saying all men are like that?

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Yeah... The one that ain't. Are pretending to get *****

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I think that's your low self esteem talking. Although a lot of people with low self esteem/general neuroses tend to put themselves into self-perpetuating cycles e.g. stressing about how someone might not like you to the point that it makes people not like you.

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No

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why

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Because it's not nice dealing with a person who is always low or feels depressed and sad... Life is too short to deal with other people's crap

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someone with low self esteem isnt always low and sad, lol, why do people keep assuming things

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yes

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Yes of course.

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He can.

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everyone keeps saying if you dont love yourself, no one else will. if thats true thats very depressing

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It's not true in absolute. It can be a scientific theory, but love just regards spirituality, and this is not scientifically mesurable. On the other hand.....love is much much much more than appreciation. Who really loves just loves to share the pain of the partner.

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