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Home  >  Relationships (Romance)  >  Resolved Question
Resolved Question
Can a married man and a married woman really be JUST friends?
Posted 2 weeks ago
Best Answer
Yes, as long as they're not married to each other, then theres no chance of them being friends :-D
Posted 2 weeks ago

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Posted Nov 30th, 2008 at 10:07PM
Yes. As a married man I have been friends with a woman who also happens to be married for several years. She is someone who I have a great deal of respect for and I have a lot of fun around. She knew me before I was married and the two of us thought about dating once but we knew that the pet peeves we have about each other would destroy any hope of a real relationship outside of friendship.
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Posted Dec 1st, 2008 at 1:42AM
yes ....but it depends whether their other halves are jealous freaks or not
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Posted Dec 2nd, 2008 at 5:29AM
Oh absolutely. In fact, it's quite healthy for each other's relationship. Haveing such a friend is a great way to vent and get good advice about what the heck to do when the love of your life is acting like a lunatic.

AS jingles mentions, boundaries are important. A sleepover is probably outside the boundaries, but spending holidays with friends and family should be ok.

I'm often amazed when people see the opposite sex together. I've been in the company of women (married and unmarried) and people for some strange reason assume the female in question is my wife or girlfriend (even when I am with my sister). I think people just like to think there is something going- like some kind of fantasy for gossip. That's all.

Peace.
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Posted Dec 2nd, 2008 at 5:30AM
Yes.
EP has a group called "I Think Men and Women Can Just Be Friends"
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Posted Dec 2nd, 2008 at 5:30AM
Yes I believe it is very possible....as long as it remains strictly platonic. I do not believe that there should be dinners out alone together, taking trips together, going to places and sharing mutual interests together alone....you get the point. It helps too if the spouse is an aquaintance of this person and there is trust among the people involved. Its a tricky situation, and things can sneak up and get out of hand very easily if not etablished from the beginning and its kept in check. Your spouse is your number one....and as long as nothing threatens that or interferes with that, I dont see any harm in it at all.
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Posted Dec 2nd, 2008 at 8:56AM
Yes......Why not......A single person...and a married person can be friends....Why not...as long as you know where the line is...and you do not cross it
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Posted Dec 1st, 2008 at 6:42PM
hmmm., you know them men...lol okokok us women lol i like to be the friend to the man ill marry , and i think couples should have couples as friends im an ole timer ;-)
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Posted Dec 1st, 2008 at 5:45PM
yes no doubt
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Posted Dec 1st, 2008 at 1:10PM
If a married man and a married women want to be just friends than why cant they meet each others spouses and all of you be friends together? When you want it to be just the two of you you risk the problem of the spouses finding out and it can get nasty.
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Posted Dec 1st, 2008 at 12:21PM
It's more than possible... but you have to consider jealousy among the other spouses
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Posted Dec 1st, 2008 at 10:18PM
Of course, sometimes guys like to hangout with girls for reasons that aren't sexual. (although it's not often)
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Posted Nov 30th, 2008 at 10:02PM
Thats a definate yes. I know a few people who are not attracted to one another at ALL......I mean...if you saw one of the couples, it's like looking at a model woman and beetlejuice as the guy. They just have the same sense of humor. Nothing more.
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Posted Nov 30th, 2008 at 10:29PM
Of course it is possible. As long the both of you respect each other's marriage and know your boundaries. It's possible. Just keep the friendship open and make sure that both party's spouses know about the open nature of the friendship.
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Posted Nov 30th, 2008 at 10:38PM
I hope so.
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Posted Nov 30th, 2008 at 10:51PM
It also depends on the intent of the relationship. It sounds, by the way this question is posed, that there is reason to doubt that this is possible. It is less possible if the married man and woman happen to be attracted to each other. That possibility is further complicated if the man and woman are UNHAPPILY married. ... because then they have something in common with each other, in addition to the desire for friendship. If there is anything else in either the man's or the woman's intent in having the friendship, it could quickly become a problem. Also missing from the question is a little bit of background that makes a big difference: does the married man and woman have a past background, from before the time when they married?

All of these things can make a profound difference... but my guess would be, if you are asking this question, that you already know the answer to your specific circumstance, are unwilling to accept it, and seeking validation.

At least, that's how I see that I would have done it, if it had come up for me. Myself, I broke off all my prior friendships, trained myself to stare at the ground, refuse to make eye contact, and never went out in public. I discovered that's a good way to make things a hell of a lot worse and forget why... but I never had the situation that I feared the most come up: being attracted to another person at first sight, while married. I don't know if this response fits your situation. I know that I'm reading a little into the question, but I'm training myself to look for what isn't being said, in preparation for my next big relationship.

If you find that you have doubts, you should probably give them audience, which may mean that you ultimately end up facing something very difficult inside yourself concerning your spouse.

I might have one more thing that could be considered a useful contribution: I'm just on the other side -- 'just divorced after 13 years'. As a single person with no significant other (and no friends), I found myself becoming very easily attached to anyone that cares to give me attention, particularly if they are physically attractive. It has been this way for about 6 months, and it has been hell. Every good conversation gets the mind spinning up about compatibility and intimate possibilities with the person. I have started to make new friends, however (largely just 'being with' the feelings of attraction as they come up and restraining myself from taking any kind of action), and I'm noticing that this tendency is softening as more and more friendships are made. I'm feeling less vulnerable, and in a way, less in need. Maybe new friendships can help you feel less vulnerable, if you can relate to that. Possibly, even same gender friendships. I had tended to not entertain the possibility of same gender friendships because I'm male, and I don't subscribe to the macho b/s that seems to be stereotypical male behavior. ... but, I've recently found some male friends that also don't subscribe to such behavior, so I realize now that it was possible all along, but I had just refused to entertain the idea. ( I don't think it would have helped in my particular situation. ), but it's worth mentioning that, from my current standpoint, it is a factor that is making life a little more bearable.

I might have more to say about the situation, but I'm stopping here. Send me a message if this resonates; I'll be happy to give anyone a straight-up no-nonsense interpretation based on my own experience, if that's what is really desired. For me, I think such a vantage point would have been a huge asset in my time of need. Though, I don't know if I would have heard anything that was said, if someone had said anything at the time...
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Posted Nov 30th, 2008 at 11:34PM
I think so -- but as others have stated, it really depends on the intent of each.
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Posted Dec 1st, 2008 at 1:46AM
I'm sure there are people out there that can do it with no trouble. Me on the other hand, If the woman is hot and I don't know her husband that well, It's possible that I may go over the line if the opportunity presents itself.
Just being honest.
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Posted Dec 1st, 2008 at 7:20AM
NO
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Posted Dec 1st, 2008 at 7:24AM
Yes. I think it is possible, but it is risky. Certain fact have to be consider; Are any of the two bored in their marriage? Live in a sexless marriage? Are undergoing depression? These facts can lead to the need of something more. I know when there is another intention, intuition will set of "THE ALARM" LOL. I think when a man is trying to be your friend with intention of something else, you can notice: gestures, gifts, comments. I would be careful. Now not every man will see a woman as a sex opportunity, some of us will just want the friendship. There are boundaries, so long as they are not breached, a good friendship can be achieved.
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