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I have a friend who used to cry at movies, be very tenderhearted and compassionate when he was younger. Now he says he has learned not to care and says he is much happier not getting "emotionally" involved or attached with people or things. He is only sentimental about his dog. Is it possible to just choose to be like that? Sometimes he just comes across as downright cold and hurts people's feelings. So unlike how he used to be. It creeps me out! I think you are right, ArstDesigns...he breaks my heart.
Vessa Vessa 41-45, F 13 Answers Mar 6, 2010

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Some people, for many reasons, become jaded. Also, just because someone does not show it on the outside (or learns to control the outward ex<x>pression) does not necessarily mean they are not still just as emotional on the inside.

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Yes it is possible. If a person has been hurt or disappointed too much that they feel the need to protect their heart from anymore pain. <br />
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I remember telling my therapist that I could not feel love for anyone anymore. I knew rationally that I loved my family and friends but I could not feel it. This made me very sad at the time. That I had opened up my heart and been treated badly many times. <br />
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Over the past two years I have been able to feel love once again. I do not know if this was a conscious choice or just a letting go of past hurts? The difference with me is, that during that time of the deadening of my soul, I did not strike out in an angry way to others. That was a conscious choice I know.<br />
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It is sad that your friend is going through this. By protecting his heart in this way he is losing out on possible love and happiness.

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It's purely a defence mechanism. Who know how they feel inside.

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Speaking from a personal perspective....yes. I shut my emotions down and put walls up a lot. I act like things don't get to me and I am not really hurting or struggling when really I am.<br />
It is self protection. I will always be emotional at heart but I learn to hide that when I feel it is necessary and needed.

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When I was a freshman in college, I decided not to speak to anyone unless it was absolutely necessary---it was a strange experience....It didn't take long to get really lonely..so I gave up the "Universal Silent Treatment" lol

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Yes it is a pscological defense mechanism to keep from getting too close to people, getting hurt, or being vunerable.

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Absolutely this.

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It is at a point where he feels its too much over the top, its good to control it...but emotions can be and are beautiful, when we are touched, there is a reason we cry and feel...there is nothing wrong with emotions..ever seen the movie Equilibrium?:)...That is a world where nobody would like to live...grey, unemotional to the point of blank..blank is not alive and living:)..blushing when embarrassed is an emotion, and its beautiful, a delighted cry and happy feeling when hearing beautiful music that makes you feel lighther than air or dancing around, is an emotion, embrace those ..they are good things..I know someone like that.... who is hurtful, cold and believes that emotions are a waste and Ive seen that person do some very cruel things..our humaness is why we have certain emotions that without, all kindness, compassion and love would be a vast empty wasteland of selfishness. I feel sorry for him..he may lose out on the best in life.

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The best thing is to be unemotional, since because humans have emotions, they know love which gives birth to pain, hatred and revenge. This will keep going in this cursed world.<br />
Without emotions this world will be much better.

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The person isn't learning to control their emotions when they do this....they are killing their emotions. It isn't long before they become what is known as cold, distant, and hardhearted. They are on a road to destruction because they are killing their soul. It should give you the creeps!

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Yes.

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whatever!

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