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katelyn410 katelyn410 18-21, F 17 Answers Feb 21, 2012

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YES, change is possible.<br />
The person just has to wake up out of their own self denial and realize what they have become and that what they are doing is wrong.<br />
This is SOOO hard to do as self denial is the strongest form of denial...<br />
But it IS possible.<br />
If you are the one being abused by your partner you MUST have open communication to them.<br />
You must open up completely and tell them how what they are doing to you makes you feel. (in as much detail as you can) How it doesn't feel like they could possibly love you (at least ENOUGH) if they want to continue the abuse.<br />
If after this they still do not change then give them an ultimatum, let them know that you know you're worth more than this and that you will not tolerate it any further and put distance between you two with ZERO communication and do not let them have any opportunities to even see you.<br />
They need this alone time to consider their actions, consider if they DO love you enough to change. Sometimes this can take months but if they do love you enough they WILL come around...<br />
Just stand your ground because you DESERVE happiness and you deserve for the one you're with to treat with you love and respect. You ARE worth it and if he is not going to give you what you deserve and what you need someone else will!<br />
Good luck to you! :)

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No and no.

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violence is deeply engrained in a relationship,he wont change,harsh but you gotta keep yourself safe

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and emotional abuse is often followed by physical

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in my opinion ..no way... its burned into them like a branding iron

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no....let someone else into your life that is nurturing & you wont bother to ask the question. Its like why drive a car thats falling apart when you have the money to buy a nice shiny luxurious Cadillac. It wont be a fond memory for long!

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It is possible, but unlikely without a huge commitment to therapy. The flip side is that abuse takes an increasingly violent path. The longer you wait for change, the higher the risk that the emotional abuse gets ugly.<br />
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As for the second question, why would anyone want to stay in an abusive relationship?

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I would have to say No. It is my opinion that a person that is emotionally abusive to their partner does so on purpose. In some cases, you may find a person that does not realize that they are being emotional abusive, but that is rare. For the most part, they know exactly what they are doing, and the better they get to know you, the worse it gets. The danger here is that, most often emotional abuse leads to physical abuse. I say this from my experience working at a battered women's center in Europe. I also had two soldiers under my command that were emotional abusing their wives, and in both cases that abuse became physical. This happened even after I counseled them, sent them to sensitivity training, and marriage counseling. I don't know how long this has been going on, or what you have done so far in trying to get them to change, but you should take steps to protect yourself by informing someone close to you as to what is going on as well as having a place to stay if you feel the need to escape. Make sure the place you choose is a place they would never think to look for you. I am sorry you have to endure being emotionally abused, in many ways, emotional abuse can be worse than physical abuse. I hope my answer helps and feel free to contact me if you need to talk.

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Yes and no, to be glib.<br />
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See, emotionally abusive people CAN change, but you know what? They often don't. And every second you spend with someone who abuses you is affecting you for the rest of your life. Emotional abuse means they lose their chance to make it right. You cannot stay in an emotionally abusive relationship hoping it gets better because most of the time it doesn't.

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Depends on how far the abuse has gone. Whether he's tried to clean up any damage. Whether I love him or am "in love" with him. How his abuse affects my life. And whether I'm convinced that he really wants to change. <br />
Meanwhile, I'd be preparing to move on with my life and I'd back off quite a bit. If he can hang in there and do what he needs to do...go through a program or whatever, then I would probably still be around at the other side. But from then on, it's a done deal as far as the options go for any further abusiveness. When I'm done, I'm done.<br />
I will not waste any more significant pieces of my life or heart trying to help abusive men. They can either grow up or get the heck away.

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No and No

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They would need to do some serious therapy, and they would want to have to change

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yes but why put my life on hold for them to get their act together.

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It's possible, but rare. Don't expect them to change while sticking around. They need alone time to think about their priorities.

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I did. ::: smirks and thumbs up :::<br />
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lol jk.<br />
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but yeah. .. I did.

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