Drugs? I would leave far away in order to keep myself sane
I think you might need to speak with a counsellor. It sounds like its a pretty difficult situation and I don't think you're going to get the help you need here on EP.
maybe if you shared your bag of rocks with him.....you would have something in common that you could do together....
I went through midlife crisis. My Wife never New it. I Love Her, So I kept it to myself.
Time to bail, sweety.