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Can physical attraction develop?

I've been seeing this girl for a week - yes, a short amount of time to decide anything. But, I don't feel a real spark in physical attraction like I'd hoped. Her personality is spot on and for me, that's insane to think about.

So now I'm stressed over the fact that I will probably not find anyone better in the personality department, but I'm not sure I'm drawn to her. She's cute - I guess I'm just not lustful and that has me really concerned.

Has anyone experienced this?

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    Best Answer (Chosen By Asker):

    Slashismygod - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by Slashismygod Jul 6th, 2012 at 9:42AM

    If you really care for someone, the more you know them the better they look but if you start off thinking it's never going to happen then it probably won't.

    It can also go the other way. I've seen men who I thought were absolutely gorgeous but after getting to know them, they lost that appeal.

    I've also been friends with a lot of very good looking men and never thought twice about them in any way other than being my friend.

    I guess it all depends on whether you think looks are more important than personality but I'd rather be with a guy who is average looking with an awesome personality, then a drop dead gorgeous guy who has a $hitty personality .

    [ Reply ] | Like (1)

16 Answers to "Can physical attraction develop?"

  1. B3lla01 - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by B3lla01 Jul 6th, 2012 at 9:17AM

    Sounds like there is no chemistry between you 2. She is a friend more than anything. I've dated someone who was perfect for me in every way except in bed lol. He would not turn me on for some strange reason and he never did.

    Like (4)

  2. onwayout - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by onwayout Jul 6th, 2012 at 9:15AM

    Yes, there was this guy that I was friendly with, didn't even think anything physical about him, but the more I started to get to know him, see how he treated me and others, I began to think of him in a different way and I became attracted to him both physically and on an emotional level. It was more satisfying than just having lustful feelings. Maybe you can get to know this girl better, take her out, spend some time together. If you don't become more attracted to her, maybe you'll have met a good friend.

    Like (3)

  3. smileyfacelunchbox - 56-60 years old - male

    Posted by smileyfacelunchbox Jul 6th, 2012 at 9:24AM

    yes ... once you start to really look at her...
    the way her eyes react to light...
    the way her lips form her words...
    her body language...

    the brain seems to snap a picture of someone
    and only uses that picture to reference who they are,
    never really allowing us to see all the nuances that
    the person possesses.

    you need to really look at her

    Like (2)

  4. DcreativeBUG - 22-25 years old

    Posted by DcreativeBUG Jul 6th, 2012 at 9:23AM

    i dated my ex for a year and half not being physically attracted to him. I mean he was cute that why i was sating him but i never tear his clothes off and just jump him. I've wanted to do that to strangers but not him. The physical part was ok ok with us. I liked kissing him because he had really nice lips. But thats about it. I never wanted to do anything more to him from my side, so i just did what he wanted. I think he knew i wasnt physically attracted to him. I loved him but i just never had the raw feeling. In the long run that messed with his head. He'd really feel very down if i dint come and then he'd start asking me why i ditn find him attractive, he had put on a few kilos and he thought that was the reason. big mess.

    Like (2)

  5. GTR1400 - 61-65 years old - male

    Posted by GTR1400 Jul 6th, 2012 at 10:30AM

    Of course. I like intelligent women and when I met my spouse driving down to a trail maintenance project we had three days to talk and get to know each other. I was turned on by her conversation and interests and the physical attraction just grew.

    Like (1)

  6. annikin - 51-55 years old - female

    Posted by annikin Jul 6th, 2012 at 10:05AM

    yes it can develop

    Like (1)

  7. jennieanne - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by jennieanne Jul 6th, 2012 at 9:58AM

    no if it isnt there in the begining i dont see how it will, though i tend to go for mental attractiveness. I might find someone sexy as hell but not be able to stand to be around them

    Like (1)

  8. Pixiegrrrl - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by Pixiegrrrl Jul 6th, 2012 at 9:47AM

    I think it can, I didn't find my ex too attractive, but our personalities meshed fairly well he was smart and I liked having conversations with him. After a little while I noticed how pretty his eyes were and how when the sunlight hit his hair just right you could see the different colors that were naturally in it etc.

    Like (1)

  9. MmmBabi - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by MmmBabi Jul 6th, 2012 at 9:37AM

    Definitely...I can recall on more than a occasions that I didn't feel physically attracted to but we were good friends. The more I go to know him and his personality was awesome and we were so alike I started to get physically attracted. But we were friends and not already dating so it happened naturally.

    Like (1)

  10. mrmoose1947 - 61-65 years old - male

    Posted by mrmoose1947 Jul 6th, 2012 at 9:24AM

    You may wake up one day in the future and say, boy I let her go, I really f**ked up. Give yourself and her some time, ya just never know. Better to try and know than not try and always wonder.

    Like (1)

  11. smariem - 56-60 years old - female

    Posted by smariem Jul 6th, 2012 at 9:22AM

    Absolutely....Every one has preferences as to what we specifically find appealing. for instance have you every met someone you thought was gorgeous to find out later what a jerk they were? We all have that occasional butterfly when something turns us on...dimples that were so darned cute when that guy smiled at you. Or someone you thought filled out there jeans very nicely...etc.

    Like (1)

  12. steppingup - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by steppingup Jul 6th, 2012 at 9:17AM

    I have, and it seemed like a lost cause, however after a few years I realized that the timing was just not right. Anything can trigger the change like a new hair style or hair color or change in clothing style or body shape. It can be very subtile.

    Like (1)

  13. SiennaRain - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by SiennaRain Jul 6th, 2012 at 9:17AM

    That's pretty sad. But you can't help how you feel I guess, or maybe you can. What's not attractive about her? Her face? Her hair? Her eyes? You need to let her go then so she can find someone who deserves her & thinks she's beautiful both inside & out.

    Like (1)

  14. RebornStar - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by RebornStar Jul 6th, 2012 at 9:16AM

    well I guess thats up to you to decide, you cant usually have both.

    Like (1)

  15. TheBlondeBombshell - 18-21 years old - female

    Posted by TheBlondeBombshell Jul 6th, 2012 at 9:15AM

    Nope

    Like (1)

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