Help you find Jesus? He is never far away. The word mystery means "hidden". And Jesus hides from us sometimes so that we are sure that it is truly He we ares searching for.
Do you remember the Our Father prayer that He taught us in Scripture? It is a formula for prayer. Here is the order in which He wants us to pray:
1) "Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed by thy name...
This is praise and acknowledgment of who God is, and that is the supreme being.
2) "Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven".
This part of the order is our willingness to accept God's will, no matter what it may be.
3)"Give us this day our daily bread"
Here, we submit our petition before the throne of God.
4) "And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."
Here we ask Christ to forgive us, but we can only expect forgiveness to the degree that we give it.
5) "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil".
Here we ask the Lord to preserve us from those things that tempt us, and through that temptation, lead us into the evil of sin.
So, first praise God for who He is. Then, agree to accept His will. In the acceptance, ask him for what you need, then ask His forgiveness for the sins you have committed, and trust that through His grace, you will have the strength to resist temptation in the future, and thus preserve you from evil.
Christ wants you back. He is never far away. Ever. I was away from Him for many years, and He welcomed me back and now I am there forever. May He be with you.
Just say a simple prayer Father in the name of Jesus I recommit my life to you forgive me for my sins. Take my heart and mold me, take my life transform me to yours. old Lord the things I know not teach me the things I see not show me. Holiness, brokeness, righteousness are what you want from me say this prayer out loud now and be sincere.
The way to find Him is 1. ask Him to forgive you af all sin that He has identified sin. 2. Get a bible and read the book of John two or three times (this is the life of Jesus). 3. Contiually pray and ask the Holy Spirit to give you insite to what you read. What you desire is spiritual and you need the spiritual to help you. 4. Find someone that has been following Jesus and allow them to mentor you. Your PAST cannot keep you from Him. 52ministries.org
Take this time to seek God. Not Jesus. Jesus was a prophet, a noble messenger for the message of God that was disrespected in the later generations.
Seek for that basic, internally known truth. That there is only One indivisible God and that there is no one and nothing worthy of worship other than Him.
Take it as a blessing that you seek for God now, because you may open your mind to better understanding devoid of culture and tradition.
I'll leave you with a little portion of the Qur'an, and ask me if you have any questions. (Allah is a Name of God, just like in hebrew you have eloh or elohim)
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the worlds;
Most Gracious, Most Merciful;
Master of the Day of Judgment.
You do we worship, and Your aid we seek.
Guide us to the straight way,
The way of those on whom You have bestowed your Grace, those whose (portion) is not wrath, and who go not astray.
He never left yo. His hand is still on you. Read Psalm 139 and John 3:16. Ask the Lord to forgive you. Get back to a bible believing church. Read your bible, pray, and ask God to help you. Whenever your weak, He will strengthen you! God loves you so much he sent you his only son, Jesus! You are special in God's eyes!
...does he owe you money or something?
Ask Him to come into your heart.