Can you ever grow up properly if you never leave home?
I'm 32, still single, and live in the small town where I was born. I have a decent job and could afford to live in my own place. But there is no need to do so given my parents have a big house. They would be hugely offended if I upped sticks. Plus in a small town they would be conscious people might think we had fallen out. Living at home has lots of perks but it is also a bit of a timewarp. My mum still fusses over me and is very protective. She worries if I'm out late on my own so in effect I have a curfew. She worries about what I eat and is very cool towards any of my friends she disapproves off. She comes shopping with me and shakes her head at anything she thinks is not what a nice girl would wear- gosh, even thongs are verboten!
15 Answers to "Can you ever grow up properly if you never leave home?"
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I feel that a person who still lives home with their parents at this age is a bit of a downfall.A downfall because of a lack of independence in your life.It is nice to have your parents around you,but a person needs their own life/freedom to do their own thing and learn about themselves.Living on your own teaches a lot of responsibility and a person doesn't discover this until they have been out on their own experiencing life by themselves.Your living a life sheltered from the world in a certain sense and this could be bad.
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Most would say no. I think it depends upon the parents and the amount of independence you are afforded by them. If you long for independence from them, go ahead and cut that umbilical cord. You need to live for YOU, not for your parents.
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It is difficult. I grew up in a house the three older sisters a very intimidating place to bring a girlfriend back to. Only when I moved a long way from home did I find love. I was 22.
Time for you to make your move my friend.Like (2)
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I hate to say it but it takes moving out on your own to really grow up. It sounds like you would have no problem affording your own place. I know living where you do has many perks but you dont have the freedom to make choices about your own life. Time to go.
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NO! you need to find who you are and see the world in your eyes. your from a small place and will be held back if you don't. If you ever came to New York or Boston your mind would be blown.
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if it works for you,fine. just remember,mom and dad wont live forever,so u probably end up on your end at some point regardless
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My dear girl that is when you do grow up...Get out on your own....
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No.
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Maturity is an internal state. Your environment has very little to do with it.
Being "grown up" in the sense of financial independence is no indicator of emotional maturity. There's no shame in taking advantage of available resources during tough economic times or in order to save for the future. It's a smart move and you shouldn't let false pride interfere with making the right choices for your future. Also, a lot of self-supporting individuals are complete morons, spiritual voids, without even a basic understanding of their own psychology, so who's immature?
You can draw healthier boundaries for yourself within your current environment - your own behavior defines your relationship with your parents to a large degree. If you feel you need more privacy or "space" just talk to them, I'm sure they love you and will make the effort to make living with them more comfortable for you if they truly want to keep you around.
I'm a broken record when it comes to recommending books that can help people, but here I go again:
Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most - http://amzn.to/X33hQ1
This book (from the Harvard Negotiation Project) can help you to frame the conversation in a way that's most likely to produce results, although it takes great maturity to be able to consistently apply the principles. ;) Like (1)
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I don't believe so. I enlisted in the army just weeks out of high school to escape my family. I was very much an adult by 18, but Vietnam made me a man.
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Grow up. My 22 year old just left my house in long island, NY to move across country to LA. I raised her to be Independent and make her own choices.It doesn't mean I love her less, it just means she does support herself and has life skills. Your mom raised you to be a Dependent. You need to go out and do your own thing or you may never get out from under mommy's roof. Move out and get some thongs. Have a lover overnight, have a slumber party, dinner party, whatever... you don't need mommy rolling her eyes at your friends or her permission.
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Look at whether or not you are dependent on the parents, I recommend you a book, "Love is a choice," Robert Hemfelt, Frank B. Minirth, Paul D. Meier - amazing book!
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good for you on being able to save alot of dough...sounds like you're already grown up =)
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I'll throw in my two cents and say yes and no. The advantage of having your parents their is that you don't slip into being an entirely different person than who you grew up as thus the lessons you learned from them never really go away but you miss out on the lessons you would have learned if you had left. Either way it's a 50/50 shot but who cares? You're happy and that's all that matters!
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Best Answer (Chosen by Voting):
Posted by Punapea Mar 19th, 2013 at 8:08AM
Wow... nooo I think it's impossible to grow up properly if you never move out. I couldn't imagine my mum fussing over me in the way your mum does to you. Does it not drive you crazy? You need your own space and to be able to think on your own. I'm moving out this year because when I live at home, I have to update my parents with what I'm doing and where I'm going. After a certain age, I just don't think it's healthy for you or the parents. Who cares what people in the town think!? Let them think you've fallen out if they want to. Or move out to a different town/city? You say your parents would be offended but they had to move out once in their life, right? Your parents are controlling your life when your're the one that needs to be making the decisions for yourself, right and wrong.
GIRL - move out and go buy some THONGS! :D
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