I've done it before and I will do it again and again, forgive until you cannot be hurt anymore, wear your heart like loving armor so that no one can harm you, there will only be compassion and empathy for your debtors. You can't afford to carry around emotional baggage all your life. Holding onto resentment and bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Forgive and do not forget, if forgotten how can you learn or pass on what you experienced? Could save a life or change it.
For those who find it hard to impossible to forgive there is hope: EP Link
very well said!
wonderful answer :)
well said Lushiro! :)
Blessings for You, Lushiro. Be well.
sooo much deep insight .... highly impressive ....its damn true... filling oneself with hate and resentment will do no good to anyone ever..it just makes the life more worse :(
You did it again. I was going to say that! XD Waaaaah
LOL wow thanks everyone keep being awesome! <3
Not the whole thing but a similar first line. XD
It's so hard to forgive. ..especially. ..if you always thinking what they done to you. ..it's like a nightmare. ....
I sort of agree, but it seems like the person doing the hurting gets a free pass--like they don't have to make up for hurting someone and try to be a better human being. I can't forgive someone that doesn't even bother to change or acknowledge the feelings of the person they hurt.
sounds all great, but everyone has their limits. regardless of how patient you might come across online I bet you can NEVER really be like tat in real life because there's a massive difference between providing an ideal answer as apposed to what actually happens.
While ..... YES ....... it is possible to forgive someone who has hurt yo, it is not ALWAYS possible. it depends what has happened.
Preach it dude!
:D only the truth, love and light will set you free!
Agreed, I couldn't have put it better myself :D
I know I have to forgive ,No thing soothes the soul like forgiveness. But you know what? the worst battle you have to fight is between what you know and what you feel. The only way I can forgive is just eliminating them out of my life.
some times removing some people out of your life makes room for better people right?
Yes, because sometimes we can forgive but never forget.
Someone who says, "I can forgive but I can't forget," is simply telling you that they are unwilling to forgive. True forgiveness returns both people to the way things were before the damage was done.
When events happen, memories are formed and when memories are formed new neural pathways in the brain form (neuroplasticity). Memories do NOT go away--not without severe trauma to the head. Is that what you want people to do? Get head trauma so they can achieve some moralistic ideal that is rather insensitive to each person's healing needs AND ignorant of how the human brain works?
I agree some people who are toxic have to be distanced or eliminated for forgiveness to occur otherwise it will resurge when the person continues these hurtful behaviors. I had to do that with my husband's older sister. She has always had a put down or comment to make me feel bad about myself. Some people have to demean others to boost themselves. She view me as an outsider even after over 40 years of being with her brother. I have remained silent when she is emotionally abusive towards me, mostly because I never know what to say when such ridiculous things are being said to me. Now I don't answer her calls or correspond unless it is an emergency. I can forgive her if I don't have to be subjected to it/her any longer.
exactly what i meant
if i were you, I,d feel happy when she calls me and I don,t respond, it just makes me realize how stupid and oblivious this kind of people are, they just act out their own impulses and emotions without being notified how harmful and toxic they were.
It's almost as if their thoughts are directly connected to their mouths without any processing capacity in between.
Toxic people have no heart and have no soul. They do not deserve your time! Forgive them for your own sake and distance them from you. It has been the only way to deal with my SIL.
depends on the severity
Totally agree with you. Some folks just ARE plain rotten. Never stops.
That's a good one - I suppose that non-scorpions assume that others are the same and end up being stung.
"How can you who are so holy suffer? All your past except it's beauty is gone and nothing is left but a blessing I have saved all your kindnesses and every loving thought you ever had. I have purified them of the errors that hid their light and kept them in their own perfect radiance" ~ A Course In Miracles
So few see past relationships for what they truly are and build up defenses which only attract more of the same over and over again with monotonous regularity. Many look at what they gave in past relationships once the form changed or the relationship seemed to end all that you gave to that relationship.
This is yet another lie of the ego with one of it's ways to steal all the joy you could be experiencing.
The Truth is that ALL that you gave in any relationship was given to yourself and you take every bit of it wherever you go for all eternity.
No kind, loving ex
However, you do have free will and are perfectly able to feel deprived and improvised if you see it that way.
You may feel that you wasted years of your life or gave gifts where they were not appreciated or received well.
This is your ego story and has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with the Truth.
The more you give the more you accrue.
Suppose your parents opened up a bank account for you when you were born and made weekly deposits for you for years till now but you didn't know about it.
You could think of yourself as impoverished or lacking. You can tell the story of your poverty as fact and believe every word of it and therefore be totally at the effect of that story.
You could die a millionaire in a shack with dirt floors never knowing what was available to you all along.
In actuality, you have an Emotional Bank Account in which you have been making deposits of love, kindness, tenderness, affection, approval, appreciation, and all kinds of emotional currency.
Every smile you ever gave to another was a deposit into the account. with the God/Christ Consciousness purified from all the false attachments and any fear that cling to them.
You never lose by giving love for every bit of it stays with you for time and all eternity.
No one has ever made a fool of you; no one has ever taken advantage of you because what is given can never be lost.
Have a great day
And a wonderful life .
I have never heard that before. It makes sense though and I know that it is true. It is wisdom
"To forgive is to love and to love is to have God's light shine upon you." That being said, I haven't been able to let go of the anger completely, but it has been processed, and filed away as a distant memory which NO LONGER defines me. I find that "understanding" the psychological reasons/possibilities behind people's hurtful actions helps, and that I don't blame the persons anymore. Human nature is a tricky thing~
To forgive is one thing. To forget is quite another. My mother molested me until I was in second grade, then increased the emotional and physical abuse. Yes, eventually, I "forgave" her. But I never forgot what she was capable of, and moved 2,000 miles away from her as soon as I could. Often, the perpetrator's definition of "forgive" means "I'll tell you I'm oh, so sorry, and you'll accept my apology and let me go right on doing what I want ... and I'll do it to your children, as well!"
When people beg forgiveness after causing more than two or three appalling incidents, they don't really want to be forgiven -- they want the chance to keep on behaving badly. If you refuse to allow their behavior they'll cry and whine about how they need you to forgive them and if you were a nice person you'd give them another chance. People who need forgiveness the most are skilled at pouring on the guilt.
Healthy forgiveness says "I'm not angry at you, but I AM angry at what you do and I won't give you an opportunity to hurt me again. Goodbye and good luck."
That's the only kind of forgiveness abusers need, and the only forgiveness they should get.
I think you said it well - and to add I think a lot of people confuse the meaning of forgiveness. It's really a matter of finding your own state of mind so your heart can heal. For me it happened after a long conversation with a friend and I said out loud: "I don't have the authority for revenge or judgement, so maybe I don't have the power to forgive so I'll leave the forgivness to Christ the ultimate authority." After that I felt a lot better.
It's depends on the extent of hurt. Even after forgive, I will keep distance with them, coz your forgiveness might be chance for them to try more.
Yes! Forgiveness is for me, NOT them.
Forgiveness doesn't excuse their behavior, It prevents their behavior from destroying your heart.
Was it even a question?Most definitely i would,people makes mistakes and everyone should given a second chance to make up for it.If i got hurt emotionally,it means that i shouldn't be so naive and its time for me to get stronger to move and get on with life. Forgiving someone is easy,its the forgetting part that's hard.Crumple a paper,say sorry to it,it may be willing to forgive you but it won't remove the the scars you just made on it
youre very right! two thumbs up.
What if it's their third chance?
a third chance for the same mistake is unacceptable..but just put yourself in their shoes,wouldnt you want a third chance to make up for real this time?its all up to you,to trust or not again,
Yes, you are very right. We forgive but never forget and most importantly learn our lesson.
yes, life is too short to hold grudges and it causes ill health and wrinkles apparently so I always forgive. Holding a grudge is like drinking posion and expecting the other one to die.
I think that you can learn how to forgive someone who hurt you if you are willing to work at it. Learning how to forgive others is one of the hardest duties in life. I still have trouble with forgiving sometimes even now but I have to for my own sake. I want to heal the open wound in my soul so that it won't fester into bitterness, resentment, and depression for me. So by my belief it is for our own good, and the good of the person who hurt us, we simply must forgive. Just as we trust God for our salvation, we have to trust him to make things right when we forgive. He will heal our wound so we can move on. But there is a secret to forgiving and moving on with your life, and that same secret applies when we're struggling with how to forgive.
Sometimes our critics have ulterior motives. An old proverb from India goes, "Some men try to be tall by cutting off the heads of others." They try to make themselves feel better by making others feel bad. You have probably had the experience of being put down by a nasty remark. When that happens, it is easy to forget that others are broken just like us.
When we have been hurt, our instinct is to hurt back. We want to make the other person pay for what they did. But exacting revenge steps over the line into God's territory, as Paul warned, Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. (Romans 12:19)
So that secret to forgiving is by -- Giving your burdens to the Lord and the secret of how to forgive is by -- Trusting in the Lord. Depending on the Lord instead of ourselves is a hard thing to do but not a complicated thing. It's the only way we can truly forgive.
iam sorry didnt got tht much time to read it
I understand forgiveness is not bearing anger or hostility towards the person who wronged you. If a person asks for my forgiveness it is very easy for me to forgive. I think there is a balance... I always keep the door open for them to communicate that they wish to reconcile issues, but in forgiveness I do not think we are required to "put the knife directly back into thier hand".
You can mentally but the trust is broken that you once had it will take years of you to trust the person again they may or my not look at you the same way but if you mean that much to then they well forgive you but as for trust it may take some time
There is forgiving but there is always that painful wound that tells you everyday what happened and who did it.
You can forgive, but don't forgive to the point where the same situation comes around the second time and makes a fool of you. Forgive but don't forget and better yourself.
Yes, but if it's a really bad situation I wouldn't want to have nothing to do with that person again.
Yes it is possible to forgive those who hurt you if you donot forgive you are only hurting your own spirit.
Yes, I do forgive them. But, not for the sake of the violator, but for my sake.
Of course. Forgiveness, like love, is a conscious decision. It is not a feeling.
Sometimes one might have to remind themselves they forgave a person, but remembering what was done in no way negates the act of forgiveness.
You can forgive. It's the forgetting that is truly the hard part.