Not really funny, but I'll try :)
Some time ago I went to see a movie with my mom, and there was this couple sitting next to us and the women started telling him every detail in the movie, and she talked loudly and had a weird *** laugh.
I was eating nachos, and I put it on the edge of the seat.
The couple went to the bathroom for some minutes, and when they returned the man turned to me and said: "Nice job."
I was really confused and then I saw that the nachos fell on his seat and his butt was all dirty because of the hot pepper sauce and I laughrd my *** off right in front of him xD.
Not really funny, but the moral is Karma's a ***** ;)
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
I used to be a golfer but i didn't have the balls. I hope that helped if it didn't i'm sorry but i thought it was punny.
Going bald at 46 w/ gray hair and look 70
You think so ,,I can not get a date with girls my age.
I am so funny looking that I can get a hug but any thing else ...hahahaha
earlier i stood up to go into the other room, and my legs randomly buckled meaning i fell onto the coffee table knocking things off, it made the cat crapped itself and run into the door