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Two good friends of mine have sort of drifted away from me in recent years now they have become mothers. I understand of course, but it makes me sad we're not so close anymore. Natural progression or something that can be worked on? We have different priorities in life now and I'm finding the friendships difficult to sustain - I feel they view me as flighty and irresponsible and I'll admit to finding it difficult to bond with them now as they are drawn to other women who have children. Has anyone else been on either side of this situation and how did it pan out for you? x x x x
FeelinKindaDodge FeelinKindaDodge 31-35, F 7 Answers Jun 29, 2012

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Usually if they don't follow and become mothers too.

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Well if I were to expect them to come out to the pub with me all the time, then it wouldn't work. But I'm always happy to pop over and spend time with them and their little ones so there hasn't been too much of a change.

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Unfortunately, that's what usually happens. The parents are living for their kids now, and they tend to 1. not make time for their own social lives or they 2. honestly just find nothing in common with the child-free people anymore.<br />
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That's the rule, but there are always exceptions.

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Thanks hon - that makes me feel a bit better, like it's not just me!! x x x

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my friendships had nothin to do with whether the other mothers had kids.......it's all about maturity & who brings joy to yur life......if you are flighty & irresponsible the door may already be closed

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Lol!! I'm not generally, I think I just feel that way myself cos I look at them and how much they are dealing with and it makes me feel...well, sort of exhausted just looking at them, and like I have no cause to complain in their company about any of my own problems. I guess it's just a matter of adjusting to the new dynamics. I find it hard, I do try but I feel such a gap between us ya know?

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you'll have the awkward phase..........then you'll be back to good buds.......don't give it up ;-)

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Since I don't want or plan to have children I have encountered this situation a few time. I understand they are going to want to spend time with other mothers, and we may drift apart because they really don't have the free time anymore. Best I can do is to make sure they know their child is welcome whenever we make plans, and offer to help watch the kid. Which, I like kids (as long as they are not mine) so it works. I generally take up a role as an "Aunt".

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I think the relationship changes but doesn't necessarily fade. I had children before most of my friends and some never did have any and we've remained close thru the years.

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Did you drift a bit for a while and then come back close again?

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Yeah....we'd stay in touch but true we did drift now and then but I always knew if I needed them they'd be there for me in a minute and I for them.

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