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Here's the background: I've been thinking a lot about relationships and the age old question, "What do women want?" I think I found the answer and it's in why pretty women like being told their smart, but not pretty. It has to do with freedom, and they want to freely chose their roles in the lives of men, not have that chosen for them. I'm assuming that this is important to all women because normally this freedom is taken away from them. What do you think?
ProvidentialParlance ProvidentialParlance 26-30, M 12 Answers Jun 9, 2012

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Some deep thinking going on. However, I believe this idea to be only partially correct.



I cannot speak for my entire gender, because we aren't all the same copies of one another just because we have the same sexual organ category. That's silly. But for myself, I feel my truth is that the most valuable thing in a relationship is to be cherished.



"To be cherished" is an umbrella phrase which includes a whole lot more, but it is a very emcompassing phrase. If a lover feels "cherished", they feel: respected, listened to, taken seriously, valued for their contributions & effort, not taken for granted (the significance of this cannot be overemphasized), trusted, desired deeply and thoroughly (not just for shallow changeable things like looks.... if a man likes you for looks, you know he'll abandon you as you age), appreciated for your beautiful unique traits, forgiven for your flaws, and nearly unconditionally loved & accepted. Safe.

All of these can be classified under the category of "to be cherished", and through my eyes, my paradigm of the world, I suggest that "to be cherished" is the most valuable thing to a woman. Rathan than "the freedom to choose her role" (which we all know from observation is very far from any guarantee of even mild contentment in life. Many women were free to choose to mary, or to have a boyfriend/lover/partner, and they are not soulfully fulfilled just because they had the freedom to choose their fates).



Please argue with me. I'm curious how my hypothesis holds up.

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My dad is actually one of the finest men I have ever met and he does not act like he owns the house or runs things as the Alpha. My dad does as much housework and other chores as my mom does. In fact, he is the main one that cooks everything. My dad has never taken over or influenced my mother from dong things she wanted to do. He has always looked out for us. My dad is so fair that I forget he's a man. he's just a dad to me that bears no stereotypical gender/race/Christian roles.



If I am ever destined to marry, I would love to have a guy like my father who possesses those traits; a partner who understands I am just as human and equal as he is.

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Lucky you!

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It depends on the woman. Being able to pursue my career is really important to me. I need to be all that I can

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You post a very valid point, or theory... my guess is after this question expires, I will still be left just as vulnerable to misunderstandings and for sure not needing to put away my apology endless tape...

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well i dont know about the freedom to chose my role,but my freedom is definetly the most important thing to me

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I would assume an attractive male would appreciate a compliment about his intelligence as well. So, this would be human nature and nothing to do with gender.



Now, back to the "role" question. I enjoy freedom to chose my "role" if you're asking :)

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I'm going for, the important element to answer the question, "what women want." I found it a challenge to portray what I wanted to say. So, the nature of the question is in what seems to be the thing that currently drives women the most.

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I would say that it depends on the woman. I tell you if I alone had the answer to that question. I'd write a book and be rich.

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i think the most valuable thing to a woman in a relationship is a person's love and not their role

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I read the question you asked and also read some answers. After reading the question, I thought, OMW, here's man that gets it. I then read XenaLorelei's answer and I have to say I could not have put it better. I like the word cherished and all it encompasses. I want that, do I have it? No. This question has opened a can of worms for me as Xena aptly said being cherished is such an umbrella word, but I want all that. I looked at the other answers too and yes freedom is important, but when you cherished, you have the freedom to be you, because there are no conditions. Fashionqueen, your dad sounds amazing, keep looking for the man that reminds you of your dad. ThomsonRania, i agree that men too are in chains and yet they are the ones in most cases that sets out the rules so to speak. Xena- you have my vote sister.

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i think women want validation irregardless of their role. i think they want to fell as though they are multi-purpose.. Not just smart- or pretty-but a compilation of things.

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to me the most valuable thing in a relationship is demonstrative affection through attention - verbal, written, physical. My sister said to her husband (and he has it written above his computer screen at work) that love is the irresistable desire to be irresistable.

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I really don't care. A woman is going to do want she wants to do.

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wouldn't freedom be valuable to both genders?

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Men already have freedom.

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Not true?
Man are also prisonner of social standers and expectation.
The famous saying " Man don't cry" prouves my point. Only when men can cry freely with out hearing that mantra in their heads the n we shall call them free.
However the society idiology makes then think they are free the same way it make being the women are not.

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NO.

IT'S TO FILL MY ROLL.

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