Could you explain why you'd prefer having kids with your own genes instead of adopting?

Being pregnant is an awesome experience. Watching that child grow up and seeing your traits (and your S/O's) in that child's face, expressions, movements, thought process - is also awesome. It's even more awesome when you become a grandparent or great grandparent and see "yourself" in a child 2 or 3 generations down the line.

There is nothing wrong with adoption - but there is nothing wrong with wanting children that are genetically your own either.

Hi TheOnlyConstantHasChanged
no. It is irrational and also inexplicable.
:)

I think we should pre screen genes so that the next generation is born less ignorant and stupid. Assuming that we are smart enough to come up with a machine capable of scanning for stupidity.

No I can't. I'd rather not pass-on my father's genes to innocent ususpecting children.
I'd also like him to be forgotten, to have no grandchildren and then be erased from the universe when my brother and I die. ..but that's a separate point.

One of our biggest fears is of the unknown...
...of uncertainty.

Haven't you guys seen the Omen or the Bad seed? I like orphans but the reality is that people would rather dance with the devil they know....Personaly, I would adopt but I would recognize this might yield unintended consequences far different than my progeny.

Second, we all have ego. Who does the baby resemble...What traits are most like ours? Their success is a validation of our lineage. It reflects back on what we shared at a cellular level.

Additionally, people have strong need for a legacy. An adopted child can just as well fill this role. However, at its core, the concept of legacy is borne frome the need to contribute DNA for future generations.

if i were to have children, i would adopt versus giving birth. there are so many children out here looking and wanting someone to love them. to me, realizing this, i feel people who give birth are actually adding to the problem of all of these misplaced children.

i choose not to have children, but i do volunteer and work with children. having children of my own is not an option in my life. but if it became one, i would adopt.

Well I do take care of myself but I digress. Imo the #1 reason people have kids (on purpose) with there own genes is to not be forgotten. Your kids are an example of this and so on.

I would probably like to have kids who look like whoever Im married to. Id prefer to adopt. There is some sort of instinct that folks feel they should have their families genes. Its like an animal thing. They wont to keep it pure. To make the kids one hundred percent theirs. They feel more like natural kids belong than other kids. Its this boilogical thing. We are built with it. It doesnt mean its that important. Personally Iv got this fear of having faulty genes. Id rather to adopt.

Are *your* genes not good enough to bring a kid into the world?

I mean, kudos to you for realizing you'd only dilute the already severely weakened gene pool.

My genes are certainly better than a lot of --no. No. here it is.
Yes. My genes are better than everyone elses except for the person who I found that I want to have children with.
Our genes rival in their greatness.

We WILL create a child that is better than your's--and our child with conquer your's and use your's to provide strong genetics that will force your child's genes to become purely submissive in whatever great being that happens to come of the union.

Our strength will conquer the weak.

And that is my answer--on an instinctual level. That should be everyone's answer on an instinctual level. In fact-- I'll just say that I'm answering for everyone.

I think people enjoy the feeling of connectedness when they have a child of their own flesh and blood. You really feel that this child is part of you and the person you love (in a normal situation). A child that comes from him and her together. Its a beautiful thought. The feeling of creating life as well, its beautiful is it not? Experiencing the life inside of you. etc.
I think for many, many people it has 'nothing' to do with the genes being better or not. For me it is for the first time that I realize that a person could also think that way.
If I have a baby of my own, it would be for the reasons I named first.

I think though, that adopting will in the end result in the feeling of connectedness as well. Maybe different, but of course 'huge' in value.

Adoption is not something I would rule out, and foster care is something I would seriously consider.

I do want my own though, not to continue the bloodline or because I want a child with my genes...But because I want to carry them inside me for 9 months, give birth..I want that bond.

Actually I'd consider both options, but to answer the question rhetorically:

To an extent we don't have a choice. We are hard-wired to spread our genes; after self-preservation, our primary biological duty is self-perpetuation.

In our technophiliac society, that urge has become so great that an industry has risen to provide people who cannot have children naturally to have children biologically.

The concept of adoption, however, has never truly been embraced. To take just one example: would-be IVF parents are not required to prove themselves in the same way that would-be adopters are. And we continue to treat those who adopt with suspicion, and sadly the system still throws up those who deserve it.

On a biological level, then, to have one's own children is a purely instinctive response. However on an intellectual level, the general unwillingness to adopt is shocking. Unfortunately these decisions are rarely made intellectually.

I've always wanted to know the answer to this question too. A long time ago people didn't have a way to control pregnancy so of course they had their own kids. In this day and age though we have more choices and it only makes sense to me to adopt. There are already way to many people in the world and by adopting one instead of having one you're helping the world as well. I know some people who have adopted children and they are so sweet. I love their kids. I'd like to take them home with me. I'm not sure why adoption has never caught on. If the screening process wasn't so tough maybe more people would do it. I've always wanted to adopt vs. having my own.

I like the idea, that I (my genes, or at least the dominate ones) have proven worth to subsist another generation.
I don't really think, they are really worth it, I let nature decide by giving me the opportunity to. Education is totally important, too, of course!

Bloodline's important..blood's thicker than water

There aren't that many "healthy normal" children waiting for adoption - they get snapped up straight away.

I want kids of my own. I want the experience of pregnancy and birth, I want to see what the offspring of me and a future partner would be like, I want to see if they get my grandad's nose (I hope not) or my eyes or my partner's knees or his aunt's hair. We've evolved to want to procreate ourselves, that's how the human race has survived. Adoption is a wonderful thing to do for a child, but the drive to make a child of our own has kept the species going for millennia.

thought provoking question. Selfish it may be, but I kind of want to see what kind of person my husband and I would make. It would thrill him to see his blood line continue. I am not opposed to adoption. In fact, I have considered it, but I think we want to have our own. At least if we have our own, there is no danger of me doing anything stupid while i am pregnant. I don't drink, smoke or do drugs...which is more than I can say for most of the women who give their babies up for adoption. I'm not sure I would like having a child that someone messed up on a cellular level when they were but a zygote.

I have 2 adopted daughters .I adopted them 14 yrs. ago. Their mom was a prostitute ,abuser of children ,drugs. Their father was an abuser of children ,drugs ,moms pimp ect. Together they beat my daughter's sister nearly to death when she was 1 yr. old for FUN.When you adopt you must be very clear that you are adopting THEIR family genes and traits and no matter what you do the kids follow their natural parents ways. we,ve been in counciling for nearly 14 yrs. and they are great kids and i love them as my own.But you always have to be on your toes cause they always tend to go down the bad road. The joy of having them far outweighs any thing else ,and would say please adopt kids ,they need you.

It has nothing to do with genes. I am adopted and know what that feels like esp. growing up in the 50's & 60's when out of wedlock childbirth was considered a sin. The way society makes you feel you don't belong and all the issues that go along with it. I had wonderful adoptive parents and also a wonderful birth mother who died at child birth. I didnt adopt because I know what that feels like.