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poetvann poetvann 18-21, F 6 Answers Aug 12, 2012

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Accidental/surgical/from giving birth = I ignore.



You = a cutter, I find them sickening.

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Me? Why are you pointing fingers

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It depends on the story behind the cuts and scars. Self-inflicted cuts or scars would scare me away from a person to be honest.

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So you would just leave her, that would only make her pain worse :(

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Leaver her? No, because I probably would have never allowed a relationship to develop, if I knew of the cutting. If I did not know until a relationship already existed, then no, I would not leave someone over this issue. However, it still would scare me. If you are a cutter, you know that cutting is not a sign of emotional stability and emotional health, yet you do it because you feel compelled to do something that demonstrates to you, not the world around you, that you own and control your own body. I understand some of what is behind cutting, but I am certainly not an expert. What I am saying is that we all have our strengths, weaknesses and quirks; However, we also seek to find mates or partners who are as perfect and as healthy as possible. Signs or emotional or mental instabilities are danger signs of possible future problems. So too are things like Anorexia, Bulimia, attempted suicide, drug or alcohol abuse (abuse, not just use), and so forth.

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I want to apologize to you if my comment about cutting came across as cruel or unfeeling. I did not intend it that way and I hope my follow up clarified what I meant at least a little. My mother was anorexic my entire life, sometimes bulimic, and became an alcoholic. In many ways she had a very fragile ego, caused by severe criticism from her father when she was very young. She was not a cutter, but she probably could have become one. I don't know if cutting is a recent manifestation or not -- she was born in 1927 and died ten years ago.
I can only try to understand people who have suffered any kind of abuse, emotional, physical, or sexual, as children and the mechanisms they develop to survive. Even though my mother had some rather serious problems, I lived a pretty idyllic life as an only child in a middle class family. I had one good friend in my teen years who cut. She was never able to share with me why and it was clear that she suffered in many ways. I so wanted to help her, but she would not let me in and while we had a good friendship, she never allowed it to go beyond that.

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I am very sorry a bout your mother and your friend probably didnt let you in or didnt want to be anything more than friends because she cared about you enough she didnt want to you and probably didn't talk much about because it only hurts her more when people talk about she wants to pretend its not a problem and deep down inside she knew you would try to help but in all reality she probably did not want the help, I do not know for sure though because I did not know her but I am just speaking from a place deep inside me sorry I just assumed you would leave her I did not mean to point fingers at you sorry hun

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*because she didn't want to hurt you*

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Self inflicted-no. Sometimes scars are sexy. It depends on where it is, what it looks like, etc.

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