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How has it affected you?
Transluminal2010 Transluminal2010 41-45, M 6 Answers Apr 27 in Parenting & Family

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my mother<br />
<br />
she is more dependent on accolades than oxygen

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And she has to be the center of every conversation. And nothing anyone else does is ever good enough, right?

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and then some

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I'm sorry. How do you deal with that? I'm asking because the decades spent around my mom left me feeling completely worthless and I would appreciate some advice on how to get over that.

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moving 1000 miles away has helped....a bit....lol
There are honestly so many faults in her, that I cant even take her or her behavior seriously, it is to the point where I have to laugh or ignore all together. But as far as the feeling worthless part.... the only cure for that is having others in your life that show you your true value, through actions.

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I'd love to have people like that in my life, but I think my experience with my mom has left me so broken and needy nobody really wants to be around me. I just started therapy for all this, but wanted to see if there was anything else I could be doing. I guess I'll have to hope the therapy mends me enough to find people who do value me. Thanks for your response.

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Ty for BA, I am sorry I am not more help, I think everyone's experience is different with this..... but I know that when I finally knew I was truly loved, it all changed.

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You're welcome. I'm glad things have worked out for you. I fear I may never know true love, but I guess I just have to hope therapy will help. Thanks again.

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You will........ and may have some around you already, but you are too busy not trusting in yourself, you own self worth, that you could not possibly see it, and THAT is what has to change.

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I know that on some level, I just have to figure out HOW to trust myself. That's why I'm in therapy now. Thank you for you kind words.

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I wish you well *hugs*

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Nope. Do you have one? What many things are they an EXPERT at?

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My mom was. She was an expert on everything. She also tried to turn me into her trained entertainer to keep her and her friends happy. She was disabled so I had to take care of her, which trapped me in her narcissistic bubble my whole life. She died 4 years ago. Now I'm trying to find an identity and learn to feel good about myself, because I was never good enough.

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Yeah, my dad *.* he's extremely INTJ and I hate him. (I'm INTP)

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I'm sorry. Has it affected your life or relationships?

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Sort of. But I learned to be independent and avoid that àsshole at all costs.

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Good for you. I hope you can avoid other narcissists in the future.

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I hope :/

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I did, he died this past December...

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I'm sorry.
Did his narcissism have any negative effects on you?

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Yes, I refused to take sides in my parents divorce (married 47 years) and he got the last word by disowning me and disinheriting me...just to name one event...If you ever disagreed with him you were considered a piece of ****! Everything was about him.

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That's rough. Has it had any effect on how you view yourself? If so, how do you deal with it? My mom made me feel worthless and now I don't feel I'm capable of doing anything right.

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No, I see him for what he was...I'm always striving to be a better person. I loved him in spite of all he was and did; hard part is knowing he never loved me!

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