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For example, you had been very close in childhood, hung out, were best friends. As you grew older and started to individuate you grew distant, as kids and teens do. The relationship changed. Why did you feel unloved? If there was any kind of abuse please this Q is not for you folks. I am adressing this to the peeps who were lucky enough to not be abused s*xually/physically or neglected with the necessities of life. Did you tell them why you felt unloved or unappreciated? Did it have to do with other family members, health issues of parent(s), etc? Did they step up and show you that you are loved, did it even matter at that point? Did you eventually reconcile with your parent(s)? Thank you.
lunadelobos lunadelobos 41-45 10 Answers Oct 29, 2012 in Parenting & Family

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my parents are caring, but i'm not close to anyone, no one really knows me

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i remeber feeling that way as a teen and still to this day...i hope you can become closer if that is your desire.

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i know you ! your diaryofabrokensoul , harharhar

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i don't think if i can be close to anyone :l

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is that a decision you are entrenched in, or a prediction that you basing on the past and your emotions, etc? I mean I am somewhat unorthodox and I am close with a very few in my life,but still, they know sides of me my parents never will.

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prediction. no one can really understand me, neither do i.

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I still don't understand parts of me however, I am doing my best to accept me as I am. If you are a reader, and books have saved me many times. I recommend "women who run with the wolves' by clarissa pinkola estes, also 'women, food and god' by geneen roth. both are really self affriming and promote loving our selves (AS WE ARE NOW) in spite of all the sh*t people want us to feel or be or whatever. a good therapist could perhaps help to sort through stuff .

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Yes and for a lot of change moved right before HS with paternal grandmother, went to a diffrent HS than I always thought I would, lost most of my friends i had my whole life before that.<br />
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We are as close as ever now they are my best friends

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It's really great that you have come together, I am glad for you all. So good and reassuring to hear.

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Nopes I was a total nightmare but i knew my mum still loved me

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awww you knew it rofl :) and she loved you , as she should! that's so awesome :D thanks.

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Yes. And it is presently a 50/50 split, my dad has changed, my mother, not so much.

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I think in the end we have to change and not look for them to do so.The waiting and hoping can be very exausting and crazy making. We should try and accept who we are without prejudice, it is the best recipe for contentment in the long run. I remember that feeling from childhood :D...And I've read this also ...

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I agree to a point. It becomes difficult when first you have a history, and second, they continue to do things without considering your feelings. You can forgive history, but continuation makes it difficult to cope with. (sorry, it is very complicated. believe me when I say I have tried.)

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i get the trying part too well. it just sucked the spirit out of me. so now I avoid them more and try to focus on MY life, My need and My feeelings. I Love them but I don't want to feel crazy when I am around them and it happens more often than not. For example, my mom drinks and what came out of her then is nothing less than atrocious and it was my Birthday! so of course i never got an apology and frankly, because she is old and has health issues I will not bring it up with her. But dad felt awful on her behalf. It helped a bit. No need to be sorry, it is very very complicated. Thank you for sharing.

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You are very welcome, and truly, I understand the need to have to step away. Turned out, that was my best option too. (sucks, but true.)

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:) I am reading a book called "codependent no more' by beattie (forget her first name) and wow, turns out I've been one since childhood. It is liberating to step away! Good for you for doing it.

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;)

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Nope - never felt unloved. Maybe not as close as some of your other respondents but always some love there.

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that's really cool :). thank you for your comment.

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nope , my parents are awesome my mom is my sister :)

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lucky :) !

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i got to say i was too sick in my teens to feel love or unloved

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