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I have esteem issues, so I always feel so crushed and helpless because I feel like my fiance left because I wasn't pretty enough for him. I'm so afriad that other guys will leave as well because there will always be thousands of girls who are waaaaaaay more beautiful than me that they can score. Even though my ex has told me countless times that I'm very beautiful to him inside and out (my nickname was "beautiful") I still become sad because I feel like he's finally realized that I'm not all that beautiful and there are women out there that he can easily score who are waaaay prettier than me.
judiy judiy 18-21, F 28 Answers Feb 10, 2013 in Broken Hearts & Betrayal

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Guys who leave for that are complete a-holes, be assured.

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Guy here. Never left a girl because she wasn't pretty / pretty enough. Left relationships because she was consistently rude/disrespectful, or cheated, or told me that I wasn't up to her standards (these preferred the ex-con-wannabe-gangsta-always-unemployed type). You develop a relationship because there is some mutual attraction as well as a friendship so basically both of you know what you are getting into before the nudity starts.<br />
Also remember- Honey boo boo's mother has a boyfriend. Think about it.

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Lol! Thank you, the honey boo boo part made my day! XD

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If they thought u were ugly, they would never have gone near you.

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It has very little to nothing to do with your looks. If the guy was willing to ask you out to begin with he finds you attractive. If he left it was because the relationship wasn't giving him whatever he felt he needed to be happy. That may, or may not, have had much to do with you at all honestly. Keep yourself well-groomed and self-confident and trust me the right man will find you more than 'pretty enough'. Look in the mirror tomorow right into your eyes. Don't look anywhere else but right into your eyes and then tell yourself... "I'm more than my physical shell... I'm a complete person and that person is pretty damn fantastic". Keep telling yourself this because it is true.

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*smiles* Thank you. I will try that.

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No. However in a relationship I expect to be the ob<x>ject of his desire, and he mine. Not because I lack confidence, but because I am willing to focus on him, I expect that back. In my last relationship, I did not feel he gave me enough attention. It wasn't a relationship worth keeping. Both parties should place attention on each other. I may need more attention than he was able to give, so it is okay. It has nothing to do with looks, but about needs and limitations. It is totally okay to need a connected adoring, available human being. Wait for the right one. It doesn't mean you are too needy because you want something different than he can give you. It just means he can't, or won't. People stay because they are your people, because they are connected on a deeper level, and because it is a miracle , mystery of love and commitment. Because they make a choice to work through things, and adjust as you both grow. It isn't about the superficial. He left because someone who really gets you and is willing to co-create a great relationship is waiting to find you around the corner.

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I can relate to a lot of what You're saying. I do want my guy to give me a lot of attention. Possibly because I normally do not become dependant upon most people. I get stingy when I really like someone. But thanks that's very sweet of you to say ^^.

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So, basically it's only something that you have created in your mind. You believe it even though you've been told its not true. Why are you fooling yourself into believing that? Maybe he left because of your insecurities...not because of your appearance.

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if he did hes a jerk....but sugar confidence is important ...you might need to work out your self esteem issues or your going to keep getting bad results

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Alright Thank You!

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hadyourchance: Excellent reply!

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you do have some self esteem issues and if thats why he left you you are better off without him.

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You don't know why he left.

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She answered her own Q with this:
"That could have the reason; my helpless smothering and jealousy. "........

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Maybe he left because of HIS issues. Not your issues.

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That kind of reasoning is a cop out...for anyone.

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Oh, okay. I guess it's entirely the fault of the one who got left behind then. Thanks for straightening that out.

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Keep living... You'll find the right guy.

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Thanks that's nice of you to say. :)

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I try.
People leave for various reasons. Personally, I think that women should wait until 25 + before a serious relationship. Men 30+... It gives you time to develop your career path via military or college.

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The shallow ones do its best to take some time trying to get to know someone so they dont just eant to have sex with you then dump you

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the true beauty look into 'heart'...its very important to show our beauty..trust me.

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I can honestly say, I have never left anyone for that reason.

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They are very shallow and you don't need that..wait for someone who loves you for who you are :)

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OK, thank you. :)

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No they leave cause they fear your too pretty for them

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I don't think that this was the case. But, I'm curious to why you might believe that.

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Simple when a guy says a girl gets old or fades away what they really mean is they move on to keep from getting hurt so to speak they think you'll dump them cause u r so pretty so they try to dump u as soon as they can i dont get it either but my best guy friend explaned it to me

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That's is probably not why he left. You were maybe too clingy and looking for reassurance. Guys get sick of that. You can be the most beautiful girl in the world but if you keep on expecting reassurance for your bf, he's going to leave your a self-confident, happy girl.

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See my reply to DanCan1. Of course she's looking for reassurance NOW. Anybody does, in the emotional turmoil following a breakup.

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I hear this a lot. I am a happy hippie peace-loving girl, just I lack confidence. It sort of makes me wish I can go back in time. But I guess It's just a lesson to be learned.

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Thats actually pretty true :).

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More likely they would leave because of your insecurity. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

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They probably leave because your insecurities create closeness issues, or makes them feel like they can't make you happy. I've been down that road more than twice.

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Shallow ****** might, but real guys would not, no.<br />
This seems to be much more about you, than any 'guy ' behavior though! Good luck and (try to !) change your thinking!

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