Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device
I have been dating my gf almost a year. During the first month of our relationship she told me she had been raped at the age of 8 by her 14 year old cousin. She is 21 now, and a couple months after I heard about this information about her I went to a mexican dance with her, per her request. Her father, weary of me, asked her cousin to come and be her protector, or superior. If she wanted to go anywhere, including the bathroom she had to ask him. I did not know that he was the guy who raped her when she was little. He raped her for an entire year whenever they played hide and seek. I asked her if it was him and she lied and told me the cousin that did it went back to Mexico. Now that I know he was the monster that did it, I've decided to tell her parents, whom I have never met. I might tell her sister instead. My gf told me to not tell her family because her father with kill him, but I can't stand the fact that gets to get away with it. What do I do?
hepster hepster 18-21, M 15 Answers Aug 31 in Dating & Relationships

Your Response

Cancel

Stay out of it. If she wants to tell, she will. Right now she doesn't. Encourage her to be happy and have self esteem and let her know you will be there for her if she does decide to tell. You could also gently point out to her that if there are other small children in the family, it might be important to let their parents know.


y

Best Answer

Only if your gf wants to, otherwise you HAVE to be silent on the matter. it is her family and her choice... only she knows her family dynamics. She needs your support in whichever decision she makes. I understand how you feel but going against her might things worse not better. Tell her you will stand by her whenever she feels ready to tell.... and leave it at that. mx:))

Best Answer

I understand you care a lot for your girlfriend and really want justice. But ultimately it's not fair for you to do that for her, it's a huge betrayal of her trust especially if she has not told anyone else, it should be solely her decision to speak up when she is ready to. The only thing you can do is be supportive and encourage her along the way.

Best Answer

thanks everyone

Best Answer

It sounds like a really screwed up family dynamic. I have two thoughts: one is that its your girlfriends call. The other is that silence and shame enables abuse and that he could be capable of doing it again.

Best Answer

No. Do not. Your girlfriend is in a very controlling situation. You are probably better off finding another to date.

Best Answer

Hell no Oo

Best Answer

you take matters into your own hands and bury the bastard in some field. Your supposed to be her man now, her protecter, well go make her feel safe!

Best Answer

No, that is her personal business and she confided in you. She must be the one to say something. If you push she will buck. So let her do it at her own time.

Best Answer

The only thing you can do is protect her from the cousin by being a barrier between them. That's as far as you need to take it for now.

Best Answer

IF he starts acting suspicious at all, tell her parents.

Best Answer

don't tell,you sort it.

Best Answer

Nope, let her decide when and how to tell people; it's her life, you're only dating her.

Best Answer

Related Questions