It depends on the level of insecurity. The people who need the most help tend to latch on to someone that represents security to them. From there they suck the life out of them. The most insecure of people are always takers not givers. I'm not talking about people with little insecurities like these jeans make me look fat or anything like that. I'm talking about the type of people that have problems functioning on a daily or almost daily basis. They need professional help not a relationship.
Insecure people get attracted to secure people. I think mentally they hope the other persons "security" will rub off on them and if it does not they beat the hell out of the secure person until they are as insecure as they themselves are.
I would have to agree that more insecure types latch on to secure types and then what they do is they play the victim to try and get secure types to feel sorry for them and once they do the insecure drops the victim mode ad turn into the victimiser. Its true insecure people can't stand a secure person obtaining any kind of success without tearing it into pieces. Thats what I have experienced me being the secure and my ex's being very insecure. I have now learnt the hard way no matter how much you feel sorry for an insecure partner, you can never really have a successfull relationship unless they get over their insecurities.
AriesRSA has described what has happened to me. I have had insecure people want to be in my life b/c they admire my success and confidence. After awhile, I have had to let some of them go (with love) b/c I see them attempting to undermine my confidence, accomplishments and even my love relationships. I now know to choose healthy, successful, confident people as friends so they'll be supportive and happy when I'm achieving.
To AngerInside: Secure people are never mean and controlling and attempt to take advantage of others. That is what insecure people do!
The type of insecure person I think about by default needs constant reassurance, always turns the conversation to them, etc. I can't see two people like that attracting each other. It would just be one introverted statement after another with no feedback whatsoever.
Quite funny actually when you think about it... and quite common.
I don't know. There is an old sarcastic joke that went around years ago. It went:
"What happens when a manipulator meets an enabler?"
"They get married".
they get attracted to abusers
Im normally attracted to people who are stable and got it together. Im insecure as hell.
Insecure people unconsciously attract other insecure people. I've seen it with myself in high school in college. Most of my friends, as it turns out, were insecure with low self esteem. Now that I'm a little older and confidence grew, I can't relate to them anymore. I find that they spend most of the time complaining about their "wounded hearts," etc. whereas now I'm the sort of person who says, "If there's a problem, fix it."
That doesn't mean that you can't get out of insecurity with the help of a strong friend. It's just that you will most likely have to find one before he or she finds you.
Honestly, I've seen it go both ways. I've seen insecure people seek out people whom they perceive as even less secure than themselves, often for some level of control. I've also seen people seek out more confident types (my tendency), hoping some of it will wear off. ;D
I think it may be a bit of both, my insecurity is feeling not good enough so I over compensate and Want to help people to get there approval