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What do you get out of it? I don't get it.
Kefaires Kefaires 26-30 9 Answers Jan 24 in Community

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Some people are social butterfly,They are wired in a way that they enjoy it (lots of dopamine activity)some people use it to escape there inability to be alone with themselves.



I used to be shy I completely got over that but I still enjoy my solitude over the company of people much of the time.

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Being with other people changes your biochemistry. You don't have to do anything but sit in the same room with other people and you change.

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come down this dark alley with us. we'll show you social...

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Already here, behind the dumpster. Don't come close. ;)

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we hope you brought your wallet.

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How tiresome.

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Not me. I am too shy.

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I don't really like most people, but I have a job and am involved with other situation's that mean i'm forced to not only socialize, but to try and get people to like me nearly all day, every day. I get nothing out of these people, only my boyfriend, 3 close friends and my brother. Aside from that I would happily never speak to anyone, ever again. Like someone said, a lot of people do it for the social status. Snooze.

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But you get happiness from those relationships with friends and bf?

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Definitely, but they're not standard people; they've all had traumatic life experiences that have to me, made them more understanding, forgiving, and generally chilled out (basically, not judgmental.) Being a girl I find a lot of women are so bitchy, and the more attractive i've become the more attention i've got from them, as well as men, which has made me realise how pretentious people are. Ignore how arrogant that sounded please, i'm only saying it because its anonymous ;)

Sorry, long story short, yes I do get happiness :) you will do if you're patient in finding the right people. There are lot's of a**holes in the world

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Thank you. This lack of social joy certainly isn't for want of good folks who would deserve it, or whose company I wish I could enjoy. It's a personal wire that's connected oddly, I think. I actually don't mind most people, in an abstract way. I hold my own and am generally all right, just don't get any fulfillment or happiness from having relationships, even when they're mutually pleasant and friendly. Knowing that others do is what I was curious about. Appreciate the anecdote.

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p.s knowing people for quite a few years, definitely helps, creating memories etc

...not to be cheesy or anything

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Please keep it down, I am watching football.

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Haha! Substitute "working on writing" and that's yours truly.

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In my experience, people spend more time talking about how fun it is being social than actually having fun being social. Ever gone to a crap party, and the next day people are talking up what a CRAAAZZYYY night it was? It's not about the experience, it's about the social status.

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You have some ****** experience then.

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Perhaps. It's wide though.

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Well my experience is wide too and it's nothing like what you describe. For instance I have a group of friends that have been getting together for close to 20 years and having what we call 'nerd night'. We get together and play board games, computer games, card games, etc. It's nothing about social status, it's purely about friendship and a group of people with similar interests getting together on regular basis.

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sounds pretty special

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When I lived in Japan there were two groups that I'd get together with each week. One was a poker night and the other a computer gaming night. Again nothing about social status, although winning the poker night was pretty cool. And there was also another group I'd often get with and go out singing at karaoke on a regular basis. Back here in Australia now I am catching up with the nerd night crew and I've also joined the local sailing club and am part of the local Lions club. I like being social. And I don't mean going out and getting drunk. Quality time with people I like to be around.

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The majority of people I've known are genuinely willing to be friendly and do things socially like you describe, Hirafu. I've been reached out to more times than I can count. It's something missing in myself that keeps me from achieving that sense of happiness, I think.

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You do realize going out and getting drunk is basically the national past-time in Australia, of course. It's wonderful that you're the kind of guy that genuinely loves a tight-knit group of friends, but I don't believe it's the norm. "Nerd night" sounds amazing, but again, the majority of society is not holding nerd nights every week. They're climbing the facebook ladder.

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Well you'd get that impression if you spend a lot of time on Facebook and EP. Especially if you use such sites to make friends and be social. I don't either to make friends. I have my friends in the real world and most of them are like me. We prefer real relationships with real people than what passes for relationships and friendships on sites like this. In my world I'm not unusual. And yes getting drunk is a big thing here in Aus. It's one of the reasons I don't like living here!

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Agreed that facebook and this here is shallow, and that over dependence on it is probably detrimental in the long run. I joined here mostly to read; people make me curious.

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And I get the impression you assume a lot of things without much info really. A lot of time on Facebook? lols waaay off. Why did you even bother to reply to my answer with a thinly veiled insult, if this place doesn't make sense to you? Actually, please don't reply, it's a waste of time for both of us.

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I wasn't aiming that at you personally. It was a comment on people out there.

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You were the one who talked about 'the majority of society'. It is them I was referring to.

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lols so "you have some *(#$# experience then" wasn't aimed at me. yeahhhhh

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Well you do don't you? By your own admission you haven't had great experiences in social situations. You actually seem to be quite cynical about being social.

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dude, I've just shown you that your experiences are not the norm. your world sounds wonderful, I'm glad for you, really. But as you said yourself, you don't particularly like what most of society is doing. And all I did was describe the norm. Now go away, enjoy your life. Stop stalking my answers.

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I think maybe this is true some of the time, but people also get married and spend their lives as platonic friends, and that's the part that kind of eludes me.

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Yes, of course. I get camaraderie and friendship. I get to have shared experiences with people I like. And those are real experiences unlike the crap that passes for 'experiences' on a site like this.

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Thanks. This intrigues me. I've tried to be social many times, and still continue to try, but I never get anything from it, so I wonder sometimes if I'm alone.

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Some people are pretty social.

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Why? Does it make people happy? Not trying to be argumentative, just don't get it.

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Yes,some people find pleasure in being social.

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Thank you.

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