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What do you get out of it? I don't get it.
Kefaires Kefaires 26-30 9 Answers Jan 24 in Community

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Being with other people changes your biochemistry. You don't have to do anything but sit in the same room with other people and you change.

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come down this dark alley with us. we'll show you social...

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Already here, behind the dumpster. Don't come close. ;)

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we hope you brought your wallet.

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How tiresome.

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Not me. I am too shy.

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I don't really like most people, but I have a job and am involved with other situation's that mean i'm forced to not only socialize, but to try and get people to like me nearly all day, every day. I get nothing out of these people, only my boyfriend, 3 close friends and my brother. Aside from that I would happily never speak to anyone, ever again. Like someone said, a lot of people do it for the social status. Snooze.

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But you get happiness from those relationships with friends and bf?

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Definitely, but they're not standard people; they've all had traumatic life experiences that have to me, made them more understanding, forgiving, and generally chilled out (basically, not judgmental.) Being a girl I find a lot of women are so bitchy, and the more attractive i've become the more attention i've got from them, as well as men, which has made me realise how pretentious people are. Ignore how arrogant that sounded please, i'm only saying it because its anonymous ;)

Sorry, long story short, yes I do get happiness :) you will do if you're patient in finding the right people. There are lot's of a**holes in the world

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Thank you. This lack of social joy certainly isn't for want of good folks who would deserve it, or whose company I wish I could enjoy. It's a personal wire that's connected oddly, I think. I actually don't mind most people, in an abstract way. I hold my own and am generally all right, just don't get any fulfillment or happiness from having relationships, even when they're mutually pleasant and friendly. Knowing that others do is what I was curious about. Appreciate the anecdote.

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p.s knowing people for quite a few years, definitely helps, creating memories etc

...not to be cheesy or anything

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Please keep it down, I am watching football.

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Haha! Substitute "working on writing" and that's yours truly.

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In my experience, people spend more time talking about how fun it is being social than actually having fun being social. Ever gone to a crap party, and the next day people are talking up what a CRAAAZZYYY night it was? It's not about the experience, it's about the social status.

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I think maybe this is true some of the time, but people also get married and spend their lives as platonic friends, and that's the part that kind of eludes me.

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Perhaps. It's wide though.

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sounds pretty special

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The majority of people I've known are genuinely willing to be friendly and do things socially like you describe, Hirafu. I've been reached out to more times than I can count. It's something missing in myself that keeps me from achieving that sense of happiness, I think.

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You do realize going out and getting drunk is basically the national past-time in Australia, of course. It's wonderful that you're the kind of guy that genuinely loves a tight-knit group of friends, but I don't believe it's the norm. "Nerd night" sounds amazing, but again, the majority of society is not holding nerd nights every week. They're climbing the facebook ladder.

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Agreed that facebook and this here is shallow, and that over dependence on it is probably detrimental in the long run. I joined here mostly to read; people make me curious.

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And I get the impression you assume a lot of things without much info really. A lot of time on Facebook? lols waaay off. Why did you even bother to reply to my answer with a thinly veiled insult, if this place doesn't make sense to you? Actually, please don't reply, it's a waste of time for both of us.

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lols so "you have some *(#$# experience then" wasn't aimed at me. yeahhhhh

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dude, I've just shown you that your experiences are not the norm. your world sounds wonderful, I'm glad for you, really. But as you said yourself, you don't particularly like what most of society is doing. And all I did was describe the norm. Now go away, enjoy your life. Stop stalking my answers.

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