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GeorgyGirl GeorgyGirl 41-45, F 24 Answers Mar 12, 2011

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They obviously have no consideration for anyone but themselves. I would like all the cheaters too look the children of the people they cheat with and tell them they are just too horny to care about their family..

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Perhaps contempt.

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Who knows. But one thing that is definately going on in their mind is lust. <br />
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I just saw the movie Georgy Girl a few days ago. Classic. :-D

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Coming from my situation, in which I have had some lengthy and regular 'sexual' relationships with both married men and women, I don't tend to dwell on it at all...<br />
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It's a business transaction for me, although as you get to know someone over time it can get a bit more complicated. I never want to hurt anyone but, it's not my choice to. That is down to the unfaithful partner...<br />
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Life can be all boiled down to one little word: Communication. It this was used with the spouse then there probably wouldn't need to go to prostitutes like me....<br />
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Samantha xx

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this may not apply to all cases but most of the time, if they had even given a thought about the spouse, they wouldnt have ended up having an affair with married people.

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for a split second.....

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Why should they?<br />
their relationship is with someone that chose to have an affair...<br />
as long as that person meets their approval...<br />
and discretion is maintained...there really is no reason to consider any other factors<br />
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that decision was already made by their lover!

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I agree with Oddandsingular & would like to add that affairs are not always grounded in selfishness. Sometimes a person's life really IS complicated (think people who have escaped War zones via visa through marriage). It's not always black & white. PS: I have never had an affair.

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Some do. But not enough, to my mind!<br />
I think they try to believe that the affair is justified. That the married person is trapped in the marriage or misunderstood or neglected. That the spouse being cheated on somehow deserves it. At least that seems to be the kind of story that usually comes from the cheater. My ex told his one time fling that we were in a fight and that I had told him to go away- your basic sob story. A lady that I know who was having an affair said that he always told her that he stayed with his wife because he felt sorry for her. That he was staying in the marriage to be "noble", which made this gullible mistress admire and love him all the more. So, while she felt "guilty" because she knew being involved in an affair was wrong, she also felt that it was the wife's fault somehow. That he was driven to cheat, poor thing!<br />
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Geeze. An example of what you can make yourself believe to justify something you know is wrong.

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Affairs are grounded in selfishness.... so, likely not.

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I did. I had been extremely depressed for a long time and really wanted to die. The fact that someone gave me human contact when my wife had emotionally cut me off in many ways was very difficult to resist. But i never wanted to hurt my wife.

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My husband was an abusive liar....so after I seperated I fell headfirst into an affair with a married man. He told me that he was planning on seperating from her...and he NEVER did...so now over a year later...I am wondering how much longer I am going to drag this on...because the truth is he will NEVER leave...excuses...excuses...I will be divorced soon...and maybe a breakup...affairs are awful!

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In reality--not much- as there are problems in that marrage -one or the other(or both) can't/won't make the types of changes needed to fix things & most realize that SEX is not love,so sometimes it keeps folks married by keeping them happy sexually-sex being the most common reason for affairs!<br />
They can go home satisfyed& treat thier family better(in most cases)-Instead of having pent up furstations& taking it out on thier familys-They are happy& content!<br />
This is real life--Not that fairy tale stuff that suggests that after getting married you no longer need to make the effort to expand boundries or even try to maintain some level of excitment in you sex lives!<br />
Folks who are LAZY or SELFISH in thier sexlives leave themselves open to thier partener having affairs!<br />
I do know some folks are going to be upset with this answer But it's the truth!<br />
PS: I have NEVER snunck around on my wife(not once) & at 67 she still enjoys sex & variety in our sex life!

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i would say no they dont. my husband of 13 years left me for a younger woman. im still hurt by their actions

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Hmm....affairs are paradoxical. In the moment, it's fun and thrilling. But you're just setting yourself up for a broken heart in the end.

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So many people who have affairs with married people either don't think, or think that its not their problem like pagan1 said. Of course the major responsibility lies with the cheater, but the person enabling him shares it to. We live in a community, not in isolation. I have the feeling these type of people do not have the empathy to help others in need, or give to charity - but I bet they're willing to take it. I was cheated on by my ex, and the women he cheated with couldn't see what was wrong with being my first customer at my new job just afterwards (there was a choice of workers)!!!

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I stopped the whole thing was because I couldn't get rid of the guilt every time I thought of her. They weren't married but I still felt terrible for what I was doing.

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I am not married but I think a person would think about what would happen if they got caught by the spouse.

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I have never been the other woman before I say anything else. The "other" gets one side of the story. Just like the one abstraction told here. "My wife is B- - - - H,doesn't understand me, blah blah blah" or the 'It's been over for years but I stay for the kids" etc. So easy to blame the other. Not their responsibility if your significant other is lying to get what he or she wants. The cheater is the one who's messed up.

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Personal opinion having been the spouse who was cheated on....i believe some like the thrill of the potential of being caught, some do have contempt (as stated by Cargoyle) and some just like to hurt people as deeply as possible

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