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Do some people treat their young kids as adults...dumping their problems on their kids shoulders?

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Asked By: MatriarchToThePatriarch 31-35, F  1 year ago

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5 Answers to "Do some people treat their young kids as adults...dumping their problems on their kids shoulders?"

  1. SpiritOfTheRabbit - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by SpiritOfTheRabbit May 3rd, 2012 at 9:36PM

    My mother left me to raise my brother. I was 11 years old. She didn't assume full responsibility for him until I moved out at 18. I cleaned, cooked, paid bills, looked after brother, did laundry, helped him with homework, made sure he bathed daily, signed his report cards (and my own), met with his principal when he got into trouble, drove him to school when he got kicked off the school bus, etc. I definitely grew up before I was an adult.

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  2. MatriarchToThePatriarch - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by MatriarchToThePatriarch May 3rd, 2012 at 9:50PM

    wooooow...and how do you feel about your mother after this..do you feel she took your childhood from you?

    Like (1)

  3. SpiritOfTheRabbit - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by SpiritOfTheRabbit May 3rd, 2012 at 9:55PM

    I resented her for years and we didn't get along well. Within the past year, however, she has apologized for everything and I forgive her- as much for me as for her. I got tired of carrying around all that negativity.

    Like (1)

  4. Ohkwari - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by Ohkwari May 3rd, 2012 at 9:42PM

    It is because they don't know any better or are not in any emotional/psychological place to be able to cope. When parents know better or are in a place to do better, most do better.

    Like (1)

  5. solowing - 22-25 years old - male

    Posted by solowing May 3rd, 2012 at 9:36PM

    I think this is at least somewhat common among divorced parents, enlisting their kids in the fights.

    Like (1)

  6. iwantpizza - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by iwantpizza May 3rd, 2012 at 9:34PM

    Yep. It's called "parentalizing" you child. The kid learns to subjugate their feelings to other people's feelings - which is not good.

    Like (1)

  7. DistantLonging - 36-40 years old - male

    Posted by DistantLonging May 3rd, 2012 at 9:34PM

    Yes, but the ones that worry me more are the parents that BEFRIEND their children.

    Like (1)

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