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Ferranda Ferranda 22-25, F 4 Answers Feb 17, 2012

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I was about to comment, but yeah, you'll hate my words even if they are true and you know it.



I will stick with one word however: "obsessive"

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I think u're right and it's killing me. How can i stop being obsessive?

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Hmm.. well, as I live by these words they never fail me, "expect the unexpected".
There is much I can type here, but, you actually already know the answer, it lies within the insecurity that causes the obsession. I would ask, what is the insecurity within you about him? What causes you to have this insecurity? Where was it formed? How significant is it really? Correct the insecurity, you correct the obsessiveness by simply being true to your self in pure honesty.

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He's the only guy i've ever been with. And i thing he's taking advantage of that.

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Well.. this is where one of my favorite 3 words come into play, 'honesty'. I see why you feel the way you do, it's the fear of "What If", a realm of the unknown. You have to be honest to him about your feelings, he needs to be honest to you about yours, if you create a relationship based on lies it's doomed to fail. If he is worth keeping, he is worth your honesty. If he can;t live with that, it's possible you may not end up staying together, but it's better than to live a life where you have no real value in your partners eyes.

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I think it depends on what's normal for you guys. If he used to call every day, and then stops calling all the time - is there a reason? If there's no reason, then, maybe it's fair to ask if anything has changed? And if he's honest with you, and something has changed, hopefully, he'll tell you that. Just be prepared to accept the answers to the questions.



I was seeing someone, and they used to call every day, throughout the day, say, first thing in the morning on their way to work, then later, around lunch time, and then when they got home in the evenings, and on the weekends (it was a long-distance situation).



Then, they stopped calling on the weekends. I could pretty much bank on it. If they were working on the weekends, they'd call, otherwise, they didn't. Then, the calls during the day slowed down, too. The first time I asked about it, or said something about it, they made an effort to change, then, they didn't. Then, they finally admitted that their feelings had changed (as if I couldn't tell).



So, giving them the benefit of the doubt is all well and good, but don't just go by what they say. Go by what they *do* (or don't do). In my opinion, actions really do speak louder than words.

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I didn't notice how he used to call at first. When i'm with him i feel the love he has for me but when we're apart i misses him so much. I feel bad When he doesn't call for a whole day.

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Are you his keeper?

My husband works all day seeing patients, if I'm at home he doesn't always have a chance to call me.

His being busy doesn't mean he doesn't love me, and I'm not insecure and possessive either.

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What if he isn't a doctor and he gets off work at 2:30 in the afternoon, i'm i still being insecure and possessive?

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The way you worded your question, YES.
BUT if your bf is getting off work at 2:30 and blows you off the rest of the day then yes you should be upset and you should talk to him

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Thanks

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Yes. But, I have also failed to call when I'm out or busy, and he gets so pissed.

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Me too, at times i decide not to answer his call and that makes him come to my place.

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