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Some people say that this is a good way with dealing with someone with an addiction. That if you lecture them about their habit that it'll make them stop. But won't that just push them away?
DarkAngelGal101 DarkAngelGal101 18-21, F 10 Answers Apr 18 in Health

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Yeah. Everyone's different, while it may work for some it might not for others. It all depends on the person.

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The only way you can administer "tough" love is by actually loving that person, which is pretty rare. Besides, the only way someone changes is by their own decisions. You would have to be there for them as support for all the highs and lows.

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You can't make them stop but you have to make it clear you want them too. Do not do anything to give them the resources they need to enable the addiction, including your acceptance of it.

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Agreed!

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Yep!

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Almost always you've been enabling them all along. Maybe on purpose, maybe without realizing it, maybe it's a lot and maybe just a little. All tough love really is when you take it all away.

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Yep

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Yep!

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Yep really isn't an answer...

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They need a good support network away from family,so family members can back away a bit and that's not easy either. I have not experience this but i know someone who is struggling with this at the moment.

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How is that person doing?

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Not really well,we had a chat last night. It's very draining for her but there's a few things she try hopefully. I'll check on her in a couple of weeks.

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Well I wish her well and I hope she'll be able to overcome her addiction. Maybe she ought to explain it more to her family members so that they know more about it so they can help her better, in a way that's not suffocating.

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This the mum i speak too.

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Wait what? Sorry but you worded your sentence kinda oddly so I can't really understand it...

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Sorry about that,i can type like that.I should have mentioned it was a friend from work who is dealing with this family issue it's tearing her apart.

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Tough Love- is needed because sugar coating things wont always help someone at the end- people need someone that is real- because everyone needs a wake up call at some point- no matter how much it hurts to know what is

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But is it really the truth or their opinion? Because I've been told "You're stupid..." but that hasn't really motivated me to stop.

Plus, some ppl are aware of what they're doing to themselves. So wouldn't just stating what they already know be pointless?

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I have Lots of experience with addiction . Nothing you can say will work,they will only stop when THEY are ready. You can't help them.This is the hardest thing to accept. :)

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I know...I suffer from an addiction. I'm just trying to understand why some ppl think "tough love" will work.

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this is true. and it sucks -3-

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It only drives people away. I had two sisters and a Mother with addiction,both sisters are DEAD,and my Mother, is barely managing her addiction,cause one of my Brothers lives with her and constantly Battles with her. Sad :(

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Yep...

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I'm so sorry...that must be so hard for you. I wish you well and hope that your sisters will RIP. Good luck to your mother too...have you thought of maybe getting her therapy or rehab? Maybe away from your brother?

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These are hopeless situations.When a person is an adult,unfortunately a person has a right to Kill themselves slowly with Drugs,and you can only stand by and watch.With my sisters I tried EVERYTHING to get them to stop,one of them got a restraining order against me,cause I went into her house and "removed" her Dealer,and took her drugs,and destroyed them,she pressed charges,against me. While I was in Jail for the night she Overdosed ,and Died. The story was similar with the other sister,If you bother them too much they just cut you out of their Lives,and you don't know what they are doing or how much. As I said if a person is an adult and wants to Kill themselves with Drugs,you are helpless to stop them,they have rights,those inclued killing themselves . :(

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Yeah...it's sad to see how people get so wrapped up into addiction that they will fight their family members for it. But then, addicts see it as their lifeline, because they feel like they can't live without it.

Addiction sucks. I wish it never existed. And I'm an addict.

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Your still young it's not too late for you, the way I look at it is if you can't stay high,why go there in the first place.Your only chasing your Tail.

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I'm an addict but I'm not into drugs. My mom would kill me. XD

It's something much more...physical.

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Oh ,cutting,it seems lots of teens on here are into that,to be honest I have no idea what that does. Like any Habit,I guess after the habit is establishes it becomes part of your Life and is hard to stop. I quit Smoking,a year ago,after smoking for 45 years. The hardest part is NOT THINKING about it. If you can keep your mind on OTHER things. That is half the Battle.

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It releases endorphins that make the person feel better...temporarily.

I don't just cut either though. I've burned myself a few times and abused my skin by snapping a rubber band hard against it.

Ik...I technically quit cutting back in Nov but I still think about it every day. And I want to do it again, badly.

My mom smokes and she's tried to quit...but failed. What's funny is that when my mom found out about my addiction, I tried to explain to her that it was like her smoking. She still didn't understand and was like "It's not normal!"

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I can tell you this for sure,the worse part is Thinking about it.If I let myself think about smoking a cigarette,I would go out in 5 minutes and buy a Pack and be right back smoking. That is why the thinking is the worst part. Whenever smoking crosses my mind,I quickly start thinking about something else. At first You think about the thing you want all the time,and have to continually keep shifting your thoughts,but with me,now that I have been quit over a Year It hardly ever crosses my mind any more. Don't get me wrong ,like right now I'm writing about it and thinking about it,I now have to start answering some OTHER questions to take my mind of cig's ,or I would still go out and buy a Pack. :)

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Yeah...but it's hard not to think of it. I see what you mean.

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but,,,that is the Key ,to kicking any addiction,DON"T "THINK" about it. If you remember this,it will help you Too. :)

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