yes, i pretend to be cool with my partner's gender transition a lot. we occasionally have talks about my not being cool with it but they're so delusional and want it so bad they will ignore the fact that i'm not really happy. it is indeed a defense mechanism. without it i would have gone insane and beat the crap out of them by now.
I would assume most people do .
"reaction formation"- is that like bullsh1tting?
Yes, to stop the issue and just forget what happened. It's better than confront her about the issue
Reaction formation in my family: http://dailstrug.wordpress.com/2014/11/18/a-culture-of-reaction-formation/