Yes I think you can be programmed to be more vulnerable to emotionally abusive dynamics. It sometimes does seem easier to be alone. However I still have hope and I've recently met someone unbelievably kind. :-)
Yes. I'd shut down too. Xxx
Well technically I haven't but it is said that if you had this in your life before, it is most likely of a percentage that you will pick those people. Although it is possible to find the right one. Just keep on searching until you do. There's a purpose in life.
No. You can attract good people as well. Your problem is that that is the only type of people that you allow into your life. There are good people out there for you as well.
See that is your problem. You only know horrible people so that is all you allow into your life. You feel awkward around good people so you stay away from them. You just have to allow good people into your life, even if you feel uncomfortable at first. You are not horrible. You need to let other people decide that. People are more accepting than you think. I used to push people away as well because I didn't want them to find out I was gay and I couldn't even let myself believe it. Once I accepted myself and allowed others in, I found that people are more accepting than I though. You are your own worst critic, but don't live your life by what YOU think others think of you.
It is okay. As I said, you just let the wrong ones in. It is because that is all you know. You are attracted to what you know and are comfortable with. Try something. Try allowing someone in who is completely different from your type. Someone who you would least expect to be in your life.
Then try taking a break from it all for a while and just learn about yourself and who you are. I did that. I have always had friends, but I stayed single for 13 years until this year just for that reason. I didn't want to be hurt. I wanted to know who I am first.
Yuppers, spot on.
never feel like that.. I don't be around people like that!!
Yes.... :( But then I met my boyfriend and my best friend, and everything was okay again! :)
No. I think people can tell that I'm slightly crazy. An abusive man who dared to fall asleep next to me might never wake up again...
Of course they realize it! If you are telling someone they are ugly, stupid and worthless (verbal abuse), how the **** can you "not know" that that's hurtful? If you punch somebody in the mouth, how can you not realize that it's abusive? And another thing. If you are a woman and you put up with this treatment more than once, I wonder about you! Run! Leave!
If it doesn't feel right - get out. That's all I can say. Maybe people continue to be abused because they sit there and make excuses instead of just getting the hell out of there.
It makes me feel I need higher standards.