I am taking care of my elderly dad right now and he seizes every opportunity to boss me around and make sure that I do things his way. He insists that I ride into town for fast food he had become accustomed to when I could just as easily cook a meal. He insists on a nurse changing his wound dressings, as they look better when a professional does it. I have spent the past three weeks running him to dr. appts and everywhere else he needs to go. He is bonkers. He is incapacitated right now and knows that somebody has to be there for him. And the only somebody available is me. The tv is turned to the loudest possible volume and I have to go to another room and put on those big ear protectors that construction guys use. When the phone rings, he tells me, "the phone is ringing". There is nothing wrong with his legs. I am good enough to do all his running and keeping the house clean, but I am not good enough to be treated as a daughter who is helping him in a time of need. I am fixing myself up a new schedule, and bullsh_t enabler will not be on the agenda.
Oh yes. Everyday, every waking hour and sleeping hour my brain is telling me just how useless I am. If I am writing reports it's worse. I worry that the language is ambiguous, or my theory is just flat out wrong. Most of the time I use this negative energy and make it positive by pouring it into my work. <br />
This is one of the hardest parts of being me, is hating me.
I don't think I am but lately more than a few people have told me that I need to stop being so hard on myself. I guess I hold myself to a particularly high standard.
sometimes, usually it happens when I am not doing what I'm supposed to do
With certain people sure. My father has been married to the wicked witch of the west for 35 years, and no matter what I do for them, all she ever does is bi&th about me to her boys and my siblings, and they all can't wait to tell me what she said. Every time I saw them I would feel like something nasty stuck to the bottom of my shoe.I finally had enough of her and her husband and wrote them completely off. I realized that they had no right to make me feel badly about myself when I didn't deserve it.
No, I can honestly say that I never feel that way. There are some things that I truly suck at: certain technical skills related to my current job, higher math, politics, geography, and my ability to follow simple directions when driving somewhere is absolutely terrible. However, I'm very proud of my abilities in oral/written ex<x>pression and I was also an excellent violinist in my youth. Oddly, too, I'm almost completely empathetic to other peoples' feelings although I'm really quite an introvert (and occasional misanthrope.)<br />
Nearly everyone has something to contribute; a talent or special ability that makes them shine. The trick is to accentuate what you're good at and to do your level best to downplay or minimize exposure to your weaknesses. I truly love doing the things I'm best at and this, for me, is what has often separated me from the maws of depression and complete self-deprecation. I may be a complete fool in some areas but dammit, when I write here, I know what I'm doing.
Everyone must feel that way at times....but, someone out there is always worse and someone out there is better...I like the Australian attitude....."No worries"
I feel that my wife feels I'm never good enough, no matter what I do, but I don't feel that way. I won't let her make me feel that way.
Yes, especially when I try to be an 85 yr old man. No one believes me. I try and I try, but no matter what, no one will care. They tell me "it's not working", and I'm like, 'oh, man', and then I just go off by myself to mope and brood.
All the time.
i was with a guy who made me feel that way....and i got rid of him. :)