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I am struggling to overcome dv, and the hardest part about it is its hard to prove to anyone. No one believes my ex is abusive like I know he is and I am terrified of how messed up my thoughts have become of myself. Does the wrong thinking ever end or become fixed? Does dv ever stop affecting your daily life? I recently lost my cards from my wallet today and I'm having a panic attack. I feel like I wont be able to survive this week without them and I'm nervous about someone using them. I'm so scared that I will be stung by a hacker or something. I don't trust easily anymore and I really need to reach out to ppl who understand the emotional trauma I'm going thru.
behappy10109 behappy10109 22-25 1 Answer Apr 20, 2012

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Domestic violence can have a huge impact on someone's self-esteem and it will certainly take time to overcome the cuts and bruises its left, both literally and figuratively speaking. The most important part for you to remember is that it IS possible to move on and regain trust in others again. Being cautious is smart and that is not "wrong thinking." But before you can open yourself up to others, you have to get some closure from your past. Talking with good friends and family always helps, as well as a therapist if you choose. Don't hide your feelings-- they're there to be expressed. And take your time. It will happen.

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Its hard when my ex hid who he really is so well that my family doubts my fears and concerns. He became this perfect image of a guy and I am the one that gets doubted and disconcerned. I try reaching out to the shelter I was in last year but I get hung up on or ignored by their counselors I really need to talk to professionals but I'm scared to be pushed aside like I don't matter or have enough of an issue. I am trying to be assertive again but I seemed to have hidden my voice. I'm soft spoken in manner now and I doubt my decisions and ask advice before doing anything and I just wish I had seen how damaging the relationship was before it destroyed me and my girls emotionally. I hope that I can slowly rebuild myself but I'm terrified to fail to be a good mom and good person. I lost important cards today and its terrifying me. I can't sleep and I can't think straight. I have no idea why i'm so nervous about this. I cant do anything but try to find them before ordering new cards and cancelling the old ones but its a deep fear of something surfacing up again.

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Okay try to do anything that will calm you down-- listen to music with your headphones, sit in a rocking chair, breathe deeply. Your body and mind are probably tired and anxious, and that's why you can't think straight. It's the adrenaline in your veins. But you can control how you feel by controlling your thoughts. Think positive. As soon as the bank opens you can go down there or call them and they'll help you sort out your credit cards. You're right-- right now, you can't do much else, so there is no point in worrying about it. Worrying doesn't prevent anything from happening. It truly is a waste of time and energy. If you can't sleep, then don't sleep. You can catch up tomorrow night when everything is sorted out.

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As for your ex-- you know what he did/said and how it affected you, and that's all that matters. If other people choose not to believe you or accept it, then so be it. You know the truth. If you want professional help, then don't give up until your needs are met. How many have you tried to contact? Certainly someone will be willing to see you

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thank you!! its so nice to hear positve advice!!

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Anytime. You're not ever alone! xo

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