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I was emotionally indifferent to my mother. When I was told she died, it didn't mean anything to me. I didn't even cry at her funeral. I never cried for her. When she died I thought, "So, she's gone." That's all. Is there something wrong with me?
flipper1966 flipper1966 56-60, M 23 Answers May 12, 2012

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sociopath......

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That's harsh. I'm not a sociopath. I don't hurt people. I just don't have feelings for people.

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My adopted mother, I love to pieces, always will......my biological mother, I am at the point where I never want to see her again. She has lied to me and hurt me too many times, I have separated myself completely from her.

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I understand.

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=/ thats sad but, maybe you just never built a bond with her. That happens more often than stated.

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It strange. I hear people talk about all the wonderful memories they have of their mothers. I have maybe 5 good memories of my mother. That's all. She just never meant that much to me. Don't get me wrong. I feel awful about it. But I can't pretend to have feelings I don't have. Now, when my father died I was devastated. A few months later I attempted suicide. Strange, isn't it?

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no hun. not strange at all. *hugs*

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I am thinking that your mother was abusive and/or neglectful to you. She seemed more concerned about her needs/desires. If she cared more about you, then she would had improved her relationship with you. <br />
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I understand how you feel because you can feel nothing for someone you were never close or had grown apart. It does not matter if that person is even your relative.

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I don't think there's any right or wrong to this, quite honestly: it's all a by-product of how you grew up and what sort of relationship you had with your mother. I was a "mum's boy" and am very like her emotionally and personality-wise. I cried buckets when she died even though I'd grown up and left home fifteen years previously: the intensity of the grief was something I simply wasn't expecting or prepared for. My father died six years later and I didn't feel anywhere near the same sense of loss, but how much of that was us not being anywhere near as close, and how much was down to having had the previous experience of losing my mother, I've no way of telling.<br />
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Twernty-five years on, I still have moments of sadness when I suddenly remember things she used to say and do and wish she was still around to share happy memories with. But that's just me. You can't really help the way you are or the way you feel, and you can't conjure up feelings when you don't have any.

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I love my mother a great deal, both she and my father have been constant positives in what has been a sometimes turbulent life for me. I'm not sure how I'll cope when I don't have them, although I know I must. I do understand that not everyone has had a history where they could count on, bond with or even trust their parents, so I can't judge those who don't share that type of relationship.

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Not really, not if there was a lot of animosity or even distance between you both. Until recently I was never close to my mom, and I likely would not have cried if something happened to her. But we are closer and are working on our relationship.<br />
There is nothing wrong with you but if you want to make sure you aren't repressing something, see a grief counselor.

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Are you able to feel emotionally involved with other people? If so, then I don't think there would be a problem, many people have issues with their parents. If you are unable to connect with anyone emotionally than yes there is a problem. <br />
Personally I was lucky that I had a wonderful mother and we were very close. When she died I was devastated and continue to miss her every day.

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Yes, I don't connect to people. I don't have any friends right now. In my whole life I've only had a handful of friends. I am an emotionally cold person. I get little enjoyment out of life.

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That's sad, sorry. Have you ever talked to a professional about this? Do you want to feel?

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I've seen psychiatrists for years. But I never get anywhere. You can't get blood out of a rock, I guess.

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Sorry :(

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I love her and I miss her very often, even though it's been 12 years since she died. She was there for me my whole life until she died, no matter what.

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love the old broad!.......even though we have nothin in common...

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She was only 64 when she died.

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sorry......we all have very different experiences

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never felt love for her. most of my life i disliked her. a lot. now i am indifferent, which is a huge improvement.<br />
nothing wrong with you. we feel what we feel. when my mother dies, i am not even going to the funeral.

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Not at all, she couldn't give what he didn't have, you should not feel guilty for not giving back what she didn't teach you!

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Yes, there could be "something wrong" with you. Like, in a technical sense that it could mean you don't get attached like a normal person or you had depression at the time and weren't feeling normal emotion, whatever. But just in general, I consider it completely valid to be indifferent to a parent. Not all parents cultivate a loving relationship with their kids. If a parent raised you with indifference or wasn't involved, I don't find it unreasonable to not have developed a sense of closeness or attachment to them.

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