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I'm very interested in understanding if people have always known that they have no interest in marriage or something happened to change their mind. You dont need to give details if its too personal.
happyadventurer happyadventurer 26-30, F 10 Answers Nov 10, 2012 in Marriage

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I wanted to be married when I was younger, because I equated that with having someone with whom to share life, but I found out my first husband was a sex offender and my second husband decided he didn't want to be around a child AFTER we were married, even though I already had one when we met, so he has spent more years working away from home than living AT home. Now that my son has grown up and moved out, my husband is seriously trying to find work close enough to live with me -- but sadly, I no longer want him here, but I don't have the guts to tell him. Do I want to be married? If there really were someone out there with whom I am compatible on an every day living together basis and I KNEW it for a fact, then yes, but I don't trust my ability to figure that out BEFORE the marriage, so probably if my current marriage ends, I am DONE.

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thank you for your answer! That is a lot to go through.

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I finally had that conversation with my husband and he says he is committed to changing the behaviors that bother me. He starts his local job next week, so we'll see how it goes!

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I'm glad you had a talk with him :) In any case, I hope things work out the way you want them to!

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I'm married now, but if we were to ever get divorced, this is it. I will never get married again because it's too much stress and marriage changes everything about that person you are with. I'd rather be with someone as a boyfriend rather than a husband. I'd probably not live with them though until I knew them for at least 5 years, and I'd probably not introduce them to my kids until I was ready for them to be ready. Kids are too precious and they get hurt faster than anyone of us, so it's very, very important to me that they are ready and will understand why I've decided to move on from their father. But really would never get married again because it's just not worth it in the end.

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wow...interesting. Thank you for sharing your story. I must have a weird ideal of what marriage will be like. It is good to hear different viewpoints.

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Marriage is hard work, and it's not always for everyone. My husband and I have a lot of problems, mainly his. We are separated, and he just recently decided that he wants to have an open relationship. However, his wishes are different from mine. He has a girlfriend and doesn't want me to have a boyfriend. It's like he wants his cake and eat too, but I'm not really that type of girl. He says that he loves me, but I'm starting to feel very different about him now. It's probably inevitable; we'll probably be divorced by the end of 2013. I don't really like sharing.

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wow...just wow. I don't know where people get these wild ideas. How can someone say that they can basically do whatever they want...but then try to control your actions? It blows my mind. I know this isnt really the same, but I had a boyfriend like that. He was always unhappy if i even talked to other guys from school -- but when girls came around he would basically pretend we aren't together..and never wanted to "settle down" although he claimed we were in a serious relationship; it made no sense to me. I left him, I don't like not knowing that I am the only woman he wanted to be with. I dont like sharing either.

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I've come to the conclusion that some men (and some women) are stupid and have no brains when it comes to relationships, and I think that they learn this from their families. It's a learned behavior, I swear it, because my father-in-law cheated on his mom when he was younger and now he's doing the same exact thing to me.

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I would love to get married, if I found the right lady and she couls except me as me

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I've never been married , it looks good on paper but I get bored easily . I'm older now and if I can find the right woman I might consider it .

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This is super interesting! Im the exact opposite -- I had a convo with a friend about this the other day. I was asked "could you really see yourself with one person forever??" no question...absolutely! And she said she could never see herself with one person for more than 5 years. I dont even see it as a paper thing...just as a commitment to another person. Thanks for your answer! I like to get different perspectives :)

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