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I used to but after close family members robbed me and my children blind - the buck stopped there.
picklelilly picklelilly 36-40, F 17 Answers Nov 7, 2012 in Community

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I lived with one for a while. They will always have my sympathy, but I won't bother trying to help them unless I'm convinced they are making hardcore effort to help themselves. Waste of time otherwise.

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Sympathy is one thing, enabling is another. I would help ANYONE in need of food or clothing if I were able to do so, but not with money. I will also help others find appropriate shelter. I used to volunteer in one with very specific rules to which all residents were required to adhere. The rules included attending various "classes". For addicts that included addiction counseling of some sort. All adult residents had to attend "job" classes -- how to get and keep one. They were also required to complete financial classes. Most were also given free private counseling sessions and those who successfully completed six months in the shelter, were usually given continued support for another year to help them adjust to their new reality. Anyone who is making an honest effort to get past his/her addiction is deserving of help -- the trick is being certain that you are indeed HELPING rather than simply enabling a continuation of the addictive cycle.

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My downfall was not understanding the issue from the mindset of the addict. I naively assumed they would just never do it to me because we are family. I understand it a whole lot better now. I do have concern for the individuals who robbed from me i.e - I would never wish anything bad to happen to them. I hope they find a path that is right for them by which they can be free of their addiction. Maybe I do have sympathy deep down now I have analysed my feelings a little closer. The loss of trust I had in them will be very hard to recover. Thanks for helping me see a different perspective.

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*The trust I had*

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Yes but it is limited. I have no sympathy for people who choose to use their children as a means to get their drugs. That crap makes me furious!! <br />
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I do not believe everyone who does drugs is an addict, like the majority of people do. And I tend to separate people who choose to steal from people who choose to do drugs. Not all people who do drugs steal, just as not all people who steal are on drugs.

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I do as you never know what led them there. I draw the line when it affects other people. What annoys me is, people who are in a mobility scooter and overflowing with fat. Stop gorging and they could lead a normal life.

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Sorry, but that is simply not the whole truth regarding overweight. You don't know if you haven't been there.

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I have been an English size, 28. I'm a 14-16, now. I'm on about the people who have nothing else wrong with them, other than the gorging.

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I never gave money to any of my family members, knowing their condition. I did feel bad for them and comfort them when the would have melt downs but sometimes they do that to manipulate you, which is really hard to stay back from but you've gotta. <br />
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It's even worse, knowing that you did something very small for them to get their way, even if it wasn't money.<br />
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I have been that kind of friend before where I would hand out money to them as a friend but I dropped that real quick and learned my lesson.

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I used to but no more. Been hurt and stole from way too much

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I take the biggest line. LOL. :(

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No. Not one bit. I do however have respect for recovered addicts.

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I do not allow the stuff in my home ! was ripped off from meth abusers

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No. I have none. People who CHOOSE to start do not deserve any consideration. They will do whatever it takes to get that next fix whether it's illegal drug use or alcohol. They should NEVER have unllimited access to money. NEVER.

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So what do you suggest for a child who is raised in an abusive home and is introduced to drugs by his/her parents? Does that child who did not choose to be in that home with those parents not deserve some sympathy?

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I used to be one so i tend to have too much sympathy at times.

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