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If yes, why and if no,why? Me-no because I made some very bad decisions and keep making them..
ash3426 ash3426 26-30, F 5 Answers May 6 in Community

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Yay! I won! Thanks for the prize.

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I have never seen someone this excited by a best answer on EP :).

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…all i see in the mirror is me….and, yea, i like it…with all the faults and good points….

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No, I don't like myself. Why is personal...<br />
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Why do you not like yourself and what choices do you regret or not like?

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hah I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours :) anyway, I took some very very bad decisions in life. I have always believed that the end of a life might be the same but we can definitely change whether we are crying or smiling on our deathbeds. Crying because of regrets and smiling because you have none.

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Im not happy with my looks and personality.

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I try to change em both but u cant change everything and I hate it. I think about ending it often.

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Well that's something even I have an issue with..I was obsessed at one point of time and I still am not happy in that department, but then I think this is something I cannot change, gotta live with it, so why obsess over it.. plus personality can have a huge effect on the way you look, so I try to smile more and be less stressed plus I spend a lot of time away from the mirror, just 15 mins in the morning and 15 at night, the basic stuff girls do.. And even I have thought of ending it all because of the way I look, but honestly not worth it.. I would definitely focus on personality, that's key.. people can seriously look attractive when they have a good persnality..

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And from your profile picture, I dont think you should not be thinking this way really..

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That is nice but.....the biggest line of bull sht I ever heard, no offense. My problem is I have a small penis. My old ex gf cheated on me cuz of it and told me all about how sex with a big one was better. After her...that pretty much did it for me. Knowing u cant change how your body is and knowing you cant ever make a girl feel a certain kind of way with a big **** or see that look on their face or watch them get into it or hear it like other lucky dudes can is a bummer. And knowing that if u did meet a girl and she liked you all it would take is a big **** to **** her down better and it would totally change stuff in her mind is also a bummer. So I mostly just use the anger I have about it to work on the rest of me, work out and stuff but mostly I just workout to get the anger out but at the end of the day I'm still me and facts are facts and I think of ending it soon to be honest. I got it all planned and have for awhile now just gotta finish it or do the deed so to speak. I know theres other stuff I can offer the world and help people and stuff but if your not happy with yourself and know you will never have what you want, what you really want...whats the point. Just stick around to make other people happy and suck it up till u die naturally...nah. I debate it all the time in my head and it always comes out to me ending it, being the better scenario for myself and my feelings.

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I meant "And from your profile picture, I dont think you should be thinking this way really.." not "you should not be.. "

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Hmm.. well I didnt know you were talking about that, I thought like most others you are talking about your face or height or whatever. But, I honestly think the girl you met was a b!tch. I am a girl and even if that was something I was concerned about I wouldn't mention it. I was in love with a guy for who he was and he had the same problem but we did everything including s.e.x and I never told him that I think he is inadequate. My point is you met a b!tch who made you question your self worth. So, work on your personality and you will find a girl who is a human being with feelings who will love you for who you are and not your god damn pen!s. Stop focusing on that. It will ruin your life. I have been told a lot of harsh things about my face. It gets to you, yes. But it cant get to you in a way that you wouldn't wanna live. And btw my last boyfriend had a huge one but after a month I was so bored that I would literally treat s.e.x like something as normal as brushing my teeth and I broke up with him because he was an a-hole. SO, IT'S NOT THAT IMPORTANT. It could be important to you and I understand that completely but it is not the only measure of a man. MEET SOME GIRLS WITH BRAINS AND FEELINGS.

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It has ruined my life...Your right. I don't care if she liked big dicks but just the embarrassment of knowing for years she cheated and I treated her and told her stuff about me that was personal and let her know me completely is what kills me daily. I feel so stupid and call myself a fool every day in my head. I think how she must of thought how dumb I was or how dumb I looked all those years I was with her when she was cheating on me with a big **** dude that she liked ****** better....That combined with my penis size, the embarrassment, the stupid looking thing, it all just kills me daily. I work out so much and do so much exercise I injur myself all the time cuz its all I can do to get my mind off stuff and the anger out. I come home sore but tired and wore out and it helps when Im working out but like I said at the end of the day and even during the day I always think of soooooo much stuff. She like basically killed me half way and just left me to suffer. Many nights I try to mix alcohol and pills but I always wake up and it never works. Then its just another day of working my job, working out, exercising, drinking, taking pills and coming home tired and drinking and taking more pills. My sex desire is gone and dead. I think of meeting girls or finding a new one but those thoughts of how she will look at me and stuff I know about how girls are stop all that new relationship stuff from happening. Truth is I could not get hard to have sex with another girl cuz my thoughts in my head about stuff.

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You realize what she has done to you, so don't forgive her and don't forget. But can you forgive yourself for what you are doing to yourself?? I am saying this because I have been through the same feelings of betrayal and humiliation. I was suicidal too. And everyday I fear that the person who made me this way can do it again. Somebody else can do it too. I cant love or trust anyone anymore. But, I am trying to come out of it. I got counseling and it really helps a lot. Never forget what this woman did to you, use that anger to bring positive changes in your life. People can break you and in a way you'll think you cannot be mended. But, that's what they want. People are so inhuman that they will actually laugh at your misery. It has happened to me. But then I realised that if I go down the road to self destruction, they win. So, I decided I WILL NOT GIVE UP. Not for these horrible human beings. Set a goal for yourself. You are angry. You should exact revenge. Your revenge should be to build yourself into a person people would admire. In that journey you will realise how much potential you have and what you thought was a weakness is actually your biggest strength. Right now you are destroying everything for one b!tch. Dont do that.

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Thank You.

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U made me half smile. Only on the inside but some smile is better than none.

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9 More Responses

We all make bad decisions. You'll learn to read the signs soon.

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I feel like I always try to learn from my mistakes but I just unintentionally keep repeating them.

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Life's a journey. None of them
have prevented you from getting this far, so they can't be that bad. Enjoy the journey and don't sweat the small stuff!

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but I wish they really were small..mistakes are as big as their consequences..

(P.S i got the notification "hundredsandthousands and two more have responded to your reponse.." I was shocked for a second :D..)

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It's funny what time does to mistakes.
You have lots of replies here, so no need to be shocked.

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No, you didnt get it.. I read hundreds and thousands and two more have responded.. did you get it now?

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Haha. Yes. I'm a little slow, so you do have to spell things out for me. That would have been a surprise... and confusing.

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that guy cracks me up.

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lol.. good for you.

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