Neither. Screaming is childish and unproductive, and the silent treatment is even worse. I will not debate someone who is screaming, because they are not thinking rationally. They must cool down and communicate intelligently. The silent treatment is hateful and ridiculous. It is one person punishing the other, and nothing gets resolved.
I don't do screaming matches. Someone starts screaming at me, and I walk.
The silent treatment I can deal with for a brief time. Especially if I think someone is just trying to cool down or sort things out for a bit. I don't mind a little distance or a shutdown in communication for a while. But only for a while. There comes a time when you either sit down and discuss it in order to iron it out, or you end the relationship.
You need one of each. I'm the quiet one.
Why does there seem to be a consensus that *everyone* considers a person who screams out is (in some way) a person we shouldn’t deal with and that if we do we are no better than they are … even if they are correct in what they say?
I take a conversation how it comes and give allowances.
Some people are *passionate* about what they feel is right. As a general question (nothing specific) do we say that we shouldn’t tolerate a person who is passionate in how they express themselves? I’ve been involved with those who feel they are right and have good reason to believe they are. It isn’t *my* place to ‘tell’ anyone that they talk too loudly. It’s more about what lies behind the words, how we tolerate people, in general, and if we feel they have a valid point. But we also have our part to play in this scenario. Silence can be equally as frustrating as can be those who yell and those who remain silent can (often-times) use silence as a weapon.
What I consider is the person who refuses to (at least) try to bring the conversation to a comfortable level for *everyone’s* sake … who, instead, turn their backs. Regardless of how any of us might see this, those who yell out are communicating; it might not be how we want it to be, but it’s communication none-the-less. Conversing is a skill at *any* level, and there are those who put up with being yelled at as a part of their job-skills.
I do *not* relish a person yelling out their points to me but at the same time I don’t just walk away without (at least) trying to bring the conversation down to a level that both parties can work with. There is more skill in bringing a person down than there is in just walking away because they are too loud for us.
At first I get really quiet, I'm very introverted and when things get tough my brain gets quiet, and I just sit there and fume, and think and it takes me a while to open up and talk about my feelings. I need to figure them out first inside me.
And if someone keeps forcing me to talk or answer then i just lose my calm and freak out, and i'll scream at the top of my lungs to make that person shut up. When i need my quiet space to think, i need my quiet time and space to think, and everyone screaming around me needs to back off. (I've been followed -.- its horrible).
So I guess I do both the silent treatment and the screaming contest, but technically I'm doing neither, I just need to think before I speak in the first phase, and the second is me fighting for my right to not speak lol UGH PEOPLE :P
The silent treatment between the two. I try to tune people out when the are yelling or screaming in my face, now when there ready to talk to me calmly like a civilized person, I'm ready to talk.
Personally i hate both but considering i am in the middle of one i have opted to shut up. words seem pointless when emotions are high and confused. later i assume their will be some talking and if i can safely steer the conversation, no yelling! one can hope.
I prefer not to argue at all.
what is wrong with actually having a healthy argument? LOL I don't even know what it is.....but I do know that screaming matches suck and the silent treatment is even worse.
I prefer a stealth attack, myself. Calm and cool on the outside, but silently plotting how to leave you absolutely MINDF*CKED. A mental assassin, if you will :)
I scream he avoids, he sulks, I go to the pub, always make up though, thats the fun bit.
Exactly how it happens with my guy.
I can not stand it when I am ready to talk about something (NOT EVE YELL!!) and all I get is silence. Mainly because they KNOW that being ignored is my pet-peeve and still use it against me. GRR! That makes me ready to start screaming.