Do you think I can be a good step mother? I will marry to a man with 2 kids from his 1st marriage
10 Answers to "Do you think I can be a good step mother? I will marry to a man with 2 kids from his 1st marriage"
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I know the situation.....the first thing is to sit down the 4 of you and explain to them that you are not replacing their mother and are not going to try to...but your future husband needs to explain that you will have some discipline rights and you will be given respect. You should also realize that you wont have the ability to do the heavy scolding leave that to your husband. The rest is getting used to the adjustments and some compromise by all parties. Good luck
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this is helpful, thank you :)
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youre welcome....FYI.......23 1/2 yrs ago I married a lady with 5 daughters....they have always been my girls...and a year later....i adopted them.......now they are adults and we have 10 grandchildren........If you put your marriage first and care for the children together youll be fine
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I have no doubt you will put every effort into being the best step-parent you can as I did for nearly 15 yrs. Trouble was my step-daughter decided many yrs ago she didn't want me around so she spent the last 10 yrs whispering into my wifes ear how mean and horrible I was to her when no-one else was around. My wife walked out on me 4 months ago and I am still what you would call devastated.
Since she left, I have moved in temporarily with my brother, his 3 children and his new partner. The scary thing is I see the same manipulation in his daughter tho very mild and just like my wife, my brother will not acknowledge that his children could try to manipulate.
Have a look at the statistics for marraige with step-children and the odds are against you. I am not saying there is no hope for your marraige to work but you definately need to speak to your partner about this issue and it gets down to complete trust in one another.
After 15 yrs, I would still bring my wife flowers, I still cherished and doted on her every move. At times I cannot understand that she could betray the depth of my love for her but after seeing my brother, I understand so well now that a parents blind love for their child is no match for the pure and sincere love of even the most loving of partners.
If you cannot receive your partners trust on this issue now even if may not be a problem right now, you will one day face the same heartache and tears that I am dealing with every day, even while writing this.
Good luck my friend.Like (2)
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I am sorry about your situation...I hope things get better for you. I am not in a hurry and you are right I really need to talk about it with my partner. Thank you for sharing.
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Thankyou for your compassion, things will get better slowly with time. If you would ever like to talk about this issue, I am here for a "been there" perspective. :-) Take care.
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yes, since you sound like you want to be
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I don't know a thing about you , I guess the guy thinks so or he wouldn't bring his kids around you . check back in a few months when that teenager decides to tell you that you're not her real mom
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Of course you can be, the question is will you be, you care enough to ask, I'd say that's a good start.
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As a daughter to a divorced parents.
My best advice is not to rush into it, and to let them know that you can never replace their mom.Like (2)
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Sure, if you love this man, you should try to also love his kids.
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Are his other children minors or adults?
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A teenage girl and a 9 years old boy
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It is too difficult to answer a question like this without actually knowing you, them, their father, his ex-wife, etc. All I can say is that I have a new step-mother, but I am an adult so it is easier for her to respect boundaries. If you can respect these children for who they are, and not burden them with the drama or liabilities of the former relationship their parents had.. I think they will come to respect you. Children are wonderful, complex and delicate beings. Teach them with compassion your heart, and not with jealousy or bitterness in your heart, and everything will turn out for the better!
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Most important is your future husband's attitude. Do you both agree on discipline issues? Do you agree on what behaviors ought to be corrected? How they ought to be correct? Time outs? Removal of privileges? Will he trust you to make those decisions on your own when he isn't around? Who will he believe when/if your version of things is not the same as his children's?
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yeah..you make some good points here...I need to think about all these
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Best Answer (Chosen by Voting):
Posted by expo67 Dec 13th, 2012 at 9:04PM
I don't know you, so how I could I answer your question?
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