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kaylamerie14 kaylamerie14 16-17, F 13 Answers Nov 27, 2012 in Parenting & Family

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I think you should write your father a series of unsent letters. Your feelings and thoughts about him may change many times over a short couple of years as you mature fully, and as you begin to address many aspects of the type of relationship you have with him (albeit a fairly non-existant one). It may be important not to be pre-emptive.

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Writing a letter is always therapeutic.<br />
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You don´t have to send it though.<br />
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If you do , you´d expect an answer and crappy fathers like yours are likely to disappoint.

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Try do die not regretting.

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What do you mean?

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sorry, I meant: try to, don't die regretting.

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I wrote my Mum a letter after she died so don't see a problem sending one to your Dad after so many years. I did it more as an exercise in clearing my mind of unsaid thoughts and feelings.<br />
Write it and get someone to read it that you trust to tell you truth, see what they think but remember nothing is ever as black and white as you imagine and maybe some things are not quite as they seem, expect no answer or to indeed get answers you don't really want to read.

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Yes. Do it. No regrets, do it and see what happens.

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if you do, you will have to be able to accept whatever reply you get, including silence, which would hurt

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Yes if you have stuff you want to say...of course, express it, let it out and you dont have to send it if you dont want to...the important thing is YOU get to say what you need to say

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Its likely worth some effort to get his side of the story.

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Yes you can tell him how u felt about him not being there. You can also think if u want a relationship with him now.

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My girlfriend did that. She has a tacit relationship with him. It will really depend on how much you trust your mother and what lies and truth she told you about him.

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There are so many sides of storys about my father and why he isnt here in my life i dont know who to beleive because everyone hates him but i love him. but like i said i dont know who or what to belive

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Probably best to get your father's side of the story. I know my daughter has been fed a lot of lies about me.

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Do you get to see your daughter? Sorry to ask.

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No worries. I see her about every two weeks. She won't talk about anything deep or important.

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How old is she?

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13

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im 16

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It's a good time for you to get your father's version of what happened.

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so many stories and side thos

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Understand you will never know the truth. There will always be a trust gap with both your parents as well. At least you will have more insight to what happened with your parents and hopefully that will arm you to avoid making the same mistake.

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i'm going to post a letter i have written to him lastnight as a story on here do you think you could give feed back on what i should and shouldnt put?

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I can't tell you what you should or shouldn't do. I can and will tell you my opinion of the letter and what I think are the possible ramifications of it based on being a father myself.

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okay im almost done

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10 More Responses

Yes, actually. People do that sort of thing.

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